Posted by BRC on December 16, 2004, at 21:59:20
In reply to Hi BRC, posted by Glydin on December 16, 2004, at 20:40:35
Wow,
I want to thank you for your response, how well you articulate yourself, and how intelligent you sound.
Well what led to my anxiety disorder was STRESS!! I was working full time at a major military installation and was taking my last final exam my senior year and about to graduate.
It had been a pretty stressful month and I wasn't getting very much sleep and was constantly thinking what I was going to do when I graduated. Apply my degree or continue my old job.
Well before taking my final I was sitting in the classroom talking to my classmates (this was in May of 1999). All of a sudden my head began to hurt, I started shaking, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I had never, ever felt this way before. So, I told one of my classmates that I was getting very sick and to tell the proffessor I had to leave.
As I left the University the symptoms intensified. I really thought I was going to DIE. I thought I was having a stroke. I knew I couldn't drive myself home and the ER was one block away. I pulled up to the ER and they had to take me out by wheel chair.
They ran all kinds of tests and could not find anything. I began to feel a little better, was released and made it home.
But the symptoms kept returning. My strange symptoms landed me back in the hospital where every test from heart to brain to internal medicine was ran for three days. They could find nothing.
But the symptoms continued to occur more often. The safety of my co-workers at the military base were in jeporady because I could no longer handle my job duties anymore because of the mysterious symtoms.
I ended up missing my graduation and having to quit my job.
I saw tons of specialist. Was poked, proded, MRIed, extrayed, tested, you name it at three reputal hospitals in two states. Everyone had there own opinion.
Well as you might guess by now what I had was a Panic attack brought on by stress and fatigue. Which turned into an anxiety disorder. Left with no job mounting debt and hundred of thousands of dollars in medical bills. I guess you would say I LOST IT.
Never in my life would I believe that anxiety would lead me to my next journey. I admitted myselft to a psych hospital not once, but three times.
I tried tons of medication. I see the most respected and revered psychiatrist in my state. He is a wise older doctor with hospitals named after him.
Now if you have read this far about the meds especially the Klonopin. Klonopin is the only thing that really gives me relief.
I am suppose to take 4mg a day. But I try to get by on as little as possible. It is amazing I will literally feel like I am physically dieing and am about to go crazy, but I can take my Klonopin and within 30 minitues I am back to normal.
I have always been a health freak, never drank, smoke, and never, ever touched drugs. So, the idea of taking all of this medication all day long scares the HELL out of me. But it seems I have to have it to make it through the day.
To look at me you would thing I was healthy and in great shape. But on the inside I physically feel like I am dieing.
So, in your honest opinion do you see an ethical and rational decision to stay with the benzo or to talk to my pdoc and try to wean myself off of it.
I trully apologize for such a long post. I just wanted to give you the whole story.
Hope to hear from you soon.
BRC
poster:BRC
thread:430058
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041211/msgs/430552.html