Posted by Jen2 on January 26, 2005, at 21:31:06
In reply to Re: What does everyone do all day long?, posted by Iansf on January 26, 2005, at 20:06:51
This is an incredibly prescient and helpful post. Thank you. It's true - through all the anxiety and stress over many years, I've been striving at least in part for contentment - which is exactly what I've been feeling the past few days.
It's as though I've been working so hard over the years doing things that I didn't necessarily want to do, but had to do because others needed them to be done - and now I really don't give a crap what other people think because I feel good for the first time in years.
I have found it incredibly difficult in the past to cut myself any slack at all - so I appreciate your advice. I just have to spend some time now figuring out what it is that *I* like to do.
Jen
> I think you've hit on a general problem and one reason so many people say antidepressants make them apathetic. If you're used to using anxiety (along with the attendant guilt, worry, shame, etc.) as a motivator, once it's gone you don't a replacement to motivate you. After all, one of the things you've no doubt been striving for through everything you've done is contentment. You just didn't know how to get it. I'm sure there's been a fair amount of wasted energy put into things you thought would make you happy that never did.
>
> So if, thanks to a medication, you're now content, what's to strive for? Well, one thing is simply the enjoyment of doing. After you sit around feeling content for awhile and get comfortable with the idea the contentment isn't going to disapear, I think you'll discover the things you actually LIKE to do. And liking to do them will become the motivation for doing them. You'll also find you're more willing to do some things you don't like to do because doing them makes it possible to do more (or get more) of the things you do like -- and because now that you're feeling better, most of those things really aren't so bad as you used to think they were.
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> So my advice is to give yourself time to adjust. Even if your current lack of motivation leads you to skip some things you really should do for your general welfare, well, so be it. Lots of people fall behind but catch up later. Don't make yourself anxious about not being anxious. You've accomplished something you've wanted. Savor the accomplishment for awhile. The kinder you are to yourself, the quicker motivation will surface on its own.
poster:Jen2
thread:448264
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050124/msgs/448398.html