Posted by rod on January 29, 2005, at 5:34:37
In reply to SO suicidal, posted by linkadge on January 28, 2005, at 18:59:08
I'm sorry things dont go well for you.
> I just can't explain the symptoms I am having.But you doctor already told you that you have a siezure problem too. Have you ever taken an antiepileptic drug AS ORDERED for lets say 2-3 months? I have also expereinced cognitive probelms with Lamictal, but these went away after some weeks. Maybe you should stick it out.
> Every second I am alive I want to kill myself.
>
> It just never ends. Never, nomatter what I try to do.
>
> I am so messed up. No doctor can help. Nothing works. I am more hopless than I have ever been.
>I a wondering about a special thing. You said you have shivers, twitches etc. which may stand for serotonin syndrome like symptoms, but you still eat tryptophan rich food etc. and also take melatonin, which you said might be responsible for this. Why dont you stop taking these supplements?? I get severely depressed if I take Tryptophan... for example. Well, yes, tryptophan is neccesarry to make the SSRIs work, but I doubt you are tryptophan depleted. Just try to stop it. Take the drugs as ordered.
> I think I have had a stroke. I think I have had a seizure.
>probably.
> It is just a matter of time. I am just waiting for the right time.
>
> My arms legs and face is tingling. I can't read a sentence. I am in hell, and it just won't end.
>just an example:
" A jacksonian seizure is a partial seizure characterized by tingling, stiffening,
or jerking of an arm or leg."
http://www.healthatoz.com/healthatoz/Atoz/ency/seizure_disorder.jsp
> There is no point to being alive.
>
>
> The psychiatrist I was about to see posponed my appointment for another month.
>Maybe he knows you dont take the drugs as ordered? I guess he wants you to stick it out with the drugs he prescribed.
> No docotor cares. All the doctors leave it up to me, but no doctor seems to understand that I can't do it.
>Sure they care. But there is nothing else to do for them other than diagnose and prescribe drugs and wait.
> I have a horrible sinking feeling all day long. There is a lump in my throat all day long.
>
> I can't sleep, and I don't eat.
>
> My face looks like a skeleton. I have lost many pounds. Muscles in my arms legs, and face twich all day long.
>
> I am cold, and in pain. I weep bitterly untill my nose bleeds and my eyes burn. It still doesn't stop. I feel like somebody is pusing me. Sometimes my head turns to the side and it gets stuck like that an I can't move it for hours.
>
>
> My vision periodically goes black and sometimes red. I don't know who I am.
>
> I have trouble swallowing. My hands and feet are cold all day long. I have chest pains, and diareah every day.
>
> I fear everthing.
>
> I just want to die. Every day it gets worse.
> I cannot blink my eyes properly for some reason.
>
> Why does nobody want to help me? Why does no docotor say, I will see you as often as you need till you get better ? Why do the docotors see me for 5 minautes and send me away? Is this all there is? Why does the hospital leave me lying there all day? Why does going to the hopsital make me more hopless?
>Sure they want to help you.
Do you think I really can get worse than this, if you trust your doc and let him/her take over? I dont know, but as a viewer from outside, I think to see you are getting nowhere with the way you are doing now.
> There is no point to even be posting here. Words can only help so much. I am only 21, and God hates me so much. He won't lift a finger to help. Not a single finger. Why does he not care for me?
> What have I done wrong. Why can't I just die.
>
>
>
>
> Linkadge
>And might I ask which drugs (+supps) you are taking now?
I really dont want to offend you, but I think you should trust your do a little more. And the fact you expereince some paranoia isnt really supportive for this approach....
anyway.
There is nothing else I can do other than give you some "new" ideas... a view from the outside...
I really hope you will find the right stuff for you...
take care
Roland
poster:rod
thread:449369
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050128/msgs/449668.html