Posted by akabetty5 on March 3, 2005, at 16:54:31
In reply to Memantine and opiates and stimulants, posted by SadDoggie on February 25, 2005, at 2:15:50
Dear SadDoggie,
This is my first time to the board and your situation stood out to me. I'm currently in the same situation about using "hardcore" stuff to treat the chronic depression. A few months ago, I underwent gall bladder surgery (which was wierd cause I'm so young) and thought it was the answer to all my problems. The pain was gone, the chronic headaches disappeared, I felt better than I had in my entire life. I was alert, slept a normal eight hours a day, was excited about getting a job, my friends and family saw the difference and were excited, relieved and so happy for me. Two and a half weeks later I noticed the daily decline back into my normal deep depressive state. I was devastated (and still am). I feel like I've failed once again. However, I ABSOLUTELY KNOW that it wasn't a dream, and that for some reason I FELT RELIEF for that short period of time. My Pdoc explained that the morphine and analgesic's they gave me for surgery had a long lasting effect on the dopamine levels in the brain, thus giving me those two weeks of bliss. I've been BEGGING for the stuff ever since. I understand that they are addictive drugs, but it's not something that I want to take every day - maybe a dose 2 times a month? I've been researching why the drugs did what they did, why I felt sooo goood for two and a half weeks, and what other "safer, non addictive" drugs can help. I want that normal relief feeling back so bad that it hurts. Like you, I've been on every damn medication in the books and I'm tired of the mental (and physical) anguish of it all. I want to feel relieved, and it would also relieve my family's hearts too, since I know that they love me so much (and that can be a burden too...) It's so frustrating to know what made me feel like a normal happy person, yet I can't have it. What gives? I just wanted to post so that you don't feel alone. Take care and keep on keeping on. One of these days, severe mental health issues with have wonderful solutions. It's tuff to keep the hope, but Hope is what keeps us going.
poster:akabetty5
thread:463063
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050227/msgs/466080.html