Posted by pretty_paints on March 7, 2005, at 17:02:02
Hi
Last year, I went in to hospital in about August for psychosis. Now up until this I HAD been very psychotic, but wouldn't talk about the thoughts/feelings.
Then I went on 15mg Mirtazapine and woooh - suddenly I started remembering my life, I started smelling smells, I remember an INTENSE terror that something AWFUL had happened, and that started me off going weird until eventually I went into hospital.
So then things settled. The psychosis has remained, but I've been on four AP's since I got out, still trying to find one that suits me. But ALL have relieved symptoms somewhat, which is why I haven't been in hospital since.
Right. So now my doc has just increased the Mirtazapine to 30mg. And what do I notice? The same thing. I am not feeling out of control tho like before. But I'm getting very bad deja vu from last time. I'm remembering stuff from my life, scary moments, awful things, I'm feeling terror, I am feeling very lost at sea and weird.
Could the mirtazapine be making the psychosis worse?
It should be mentioned that the last time I was in hospital, I came up with all these theories about awful things that must have happened in my life. Rapes, attacks, abuse, all sorts.
None of it was true. It was all psychosis, and in fact, people say I've had a very nice, happy life.
But now again I am remembering things, like being in the toilets crying. So why was I crying? Everything seems to be fitting into place like before. Something that's been concealed. I'm really scared and feel like I've really got to root it out of my subconcious.
I don't know what to think. I personally don't think that I'm psychotic on this, but at the same time, I AM feeling like I was before (altho much more mild at the moment), which is making me wonder.
I hope it doesn't get out of control. Please reply!!!
Thanks
poster:pretty_paints
thread:467888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050304/msgs/467888.html