Posted by Shy_Girl on March 7, 2005, at 22:19:02
Hello
I just discovered this site very recently. Some of you seem to know very much about medications. I've only started researching about meds. I was on Zoloft for a long time for occasional depression and my social anxiety. I stopped taking it on my own and my pdoc eventally agreed with me that I was doing ok. I was doing very well during the summer and did very well in my studies. I stopped seeing my pdoc. Then the next semester started and I started getting horribly anxious in my lab classes. I couldn't study and became obsessed with researching suicide methods (again), but I wasn't suicidal. I couldn't study and ended up taking an overdose of ASA in an effort to induce symptoms and get a doctor's note for deferral of my midterms. I had researched the LD50 for aspirin beforehand and made sure to take a non-lethal dose of about 250mg/kg. I made the stupid mistake of telling the doctor I took the aspirin and got myself sent to the ER!! I would have been ok without the sodium bicarb IV right?? The hyperventilation would have corrected the metabolic acidosis right?? Afterward I got stuck in the psych ward for an assessment! I guess it doesn't matter how 'sane' one sounds when one self harms (even in a responsible way). I got labelled with an adjustment disorder. Now I'm on Celexa. After a few days of being released from hospital, I got really suicidal and was really happy about it. I find that I really love bing suicidal...it's exciting. It's wierd, I feel totally hopeless and happy at the same time. I find my depressions are more atypical...they never last very long and I can be happy. I may be getting just a little hypochondratic about this, but I find I have a few borderline traits and 'may' have experienced hypomania in the past? Anyways, no one has told me there was anything wrong with me, but I'm starting to wonder if a simple SSRI is enough for me?? I tend to get upset easily and my thoughts quickly turn to suicide. Just as quickly I can become ok. I'm wondering if there is such a drug out there that can be taken on an as needed basis for when I'm suicidal/extremely upset. I've read about ppl with BPD taking Haldol for dsyphoria...would that be too extreme for me??
Thank-you for reading! :)
poster:Shy_Girl
thread:468041
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050304/msgs/468041.html