Posted by bimini on April 19, 2005, at 23:43:20
In reply to Re: you're darn right, posted by linkadge on April 19, 2005, at 15:18:29
I don't believe anybody is looking and perceiving anything objectively. It all gets filtered through a personal adjustend, scewed filter, giving us only some vague average. What is really real is not perceiveable nor understandable.
I don't know anything about cars but identify them by their trunks. There are the widebutts, duckbutts, pinchbutts, shelvebutts and squarebutts and so on. I maybe get the color right in recall, but if it was a duckbutt it rarely stays anything but vaguely yellow in memory.
I have somewhere in my life which now seems to be at least 100 years, learned several languages, the structure and vocabulary haven't stayed in their seperate compartments. Word and concept split for objects and sometimes for verbs. Like an ape constructing a sentence from given picture blocks, I work from within what is available at a given moment.
I have an understanding that objects are accessible and transformable in layers. There is a layer which concerns me in some way I don't understand, another layer which has nothing to do with me. Can't describe this well, it is like this other one is a backdrop, something out of my interactive realm and just maybe for decoration, some filler, fluff, entertainment or whatever. The interactive stuff layer is not constant and mallable by thought.
I'm in this state since over two years and have had to come to terms with its peculiar laws and find a way to function in it.Motion of body throws everything off, moving in any form I remind myself, look at my feet or something very stationary. Moving my head, the visual input comes delayed from movement and not all of it, closing eyes, refocusing resets what I am looking at now. Looking at movement close to me in respect to backdrop, yuck! Either block out the back or only focus on the far. Driving on a straight road with multiple traffic lights.... yeah lights friggin' everywhere, learned the top one is the one closest to me, regardless of what it looks like for distance. Shifting my head the whole straight plane like the lawn shifts into upper and lower ahh... like those 3d pictures but straight. Walking goes like this too, steps, curbs, hills, ramps, the third dimension is out of proportion.
The fourth dimension, time, is totally out of whack.
It was worse, much better now after vision therapy. But what remained is that thought becomes visual perceivable, visual process delays and superimposes onto something else which has nothing to do with it whatsoever. I was thinking in circles trying to make sense of what I'm looking at, wayyy too much work, too timeconsuming, missing important stuff kind of feel got me out of that one. Snuff.
I started drawing what I see how I see it, if only this would pay the bills I'd be happy, but noooo, I have to funk my way through, driving??? ignoring halluzinations, sorting out improbables from likely, acting like I've done this all my life. Well this is new territory for me and I'm at least 100 years old, tired of new tricks just throw me a bone.
bimini
poster:bimini
thread:485427
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050418/msgs/486790.html