Posted by Phillipa on May 23, 2005, at 20:33:24
In reply to Re: Is anyone here REALLY happy? » Paulbwell, posted by JenStar on May 23, 2005, at 19:42:01
JenStar you said it perfectly. I do not have a lot of Faith either. I am envious of those who believe so strongly. I pray. I am definitely not happy, and agree that no pill will do it. I always think if I still worked I would be happy because I was very happy when I did. Now since I've stayed home I am afraid of everything. I've been having nightmares about working, my little Melaleuca business, and houses. They say your body and mind are the rooms of a house. I feel my mind is struggling to give me the courage to seek nursing again. Yesterday I asked a young RN on my street if I could get a job since I hadn't worked in 8 years. I heard myself reciting all the accomplishments I had in nursing and all the areas I had worked in. Director of Nursing Home, Jail Rn, Psych RN nationally certified, ICU, CCU, Med-Surg, Pediatrics, ER, etc. I don't know how I did it. But I went out and bought some very nice street clothes in case I get up the nerve to call the only psych hospital around and ask if I could work occasionally. I've been continuing my education by being on PBabble. Is that what our problem is? Fear of doing what we want to do and thinking if only I were on the right med I would feel good enough to do it. I can remember my heart pounding out of my chest when I did malpractice and testified in court. I didn't think a thing of it. Just sighed in relief when it was over and had a good feeling for doing a good job. Long winded I'm sorry, Fondly, Phillipa
poster:Phillipa
thread:501904
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050521/msgs/501972.html