Posted by Denise1966 on June 24, 2005, at 14:57:49
Hi,
After about 2 years of trying different ADs with little success I managed to persuade my psychiatrist to let me try Nardil which he was reluctant to do.
I was on a fairly low dose of Nardil for about a month and hated it.
So after the two week washout period he tried me on Seroxat higher dose, I was expecting to get the usual start up anxiety and didn't and after about a week actually started to feel better.
Now two years down the line and I don't feel the seroxat is helping me very much anymore, losing interest in things again, no motivation etc.
I was just lying in bed (as you do at 20:45 in the evening) trying to come up with what do next and it occurred to me that maybe being on Nardil and coming off it did something to my brain to enable the Seroxat to work a bit. Or is this just wishful thinking?
Anyone got any thoughts on this or am I just clutching at straws here?
I've just lost my job and haven't got the motivation to go out and get another one so really need something to get me out of this. All I can see ahead of me right now is a future of walking around aimlessly, chain smoking and brooding.
Alternatively, suicide but it would be such a waste, as I have so much going for me, I'm told I'm very attractive, fairly intelligent and I'm financially secure but I still feel really low. I also have some lovely friends.
Afterall what's the point of being attractive when you don't have the inclination to go out and meet anyone of the opposite sex and have no sex drive anyway. What's the point of being fairly intelligent when you don't have the motivation to actually use your brain and what's so great in being financially secure if all you want to do is either pace around or loaf about in your nice and secure home :-)
I've tried the exercise route and hung on to my job for as long as I could inspite of the suicidal thoughts and anxiety, tried going out but just feel miserable and envious of everyone having a good time.
I really am feeling desperate, thinking more and more of ECT and would have it tomorrow sometimes if I could but I'm just so scared it won't work.
Also, in the UK they don't do maintenance ECT so even if it does work I could relapse six months down the line. Now I've lost my job so my medical insurance will run out on August 22nd. I wanted to have the ECT in Birmingham as that seems like a good place to go but because I don't live in Birmingham would have to go privately I think although I'm not sure.
Does anyone know how the NHS works here in the UK because I'm confused, I went to see a psychiatrist on the NHS who was in Oxford, I live nowhere near Oxford but yet I was able to see him on the NHS. Yet I seem to have to go privately to see any of the psychiatrists in Birmingham which is actually closer to me than Oxford?
Kind Regards.......Denise
poster:Denise1966
thread:518161
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050622/msgs/518161.html