Posted by cockeyed on July 4, 2005, at 1:55:03
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
Oh, god, this is really scary. I got drunk and really flipped out on my wife. She sems to understand me quite a bit better when I'm not rational. I was enraged. I don't want the cops escorting me to some happy place.
I spent 12 hrs with "crazy" people. The scariest were the staff. Mean bastards. But the poor sick...oh, hell, some of the women were really nuts and I couldn't stand it. I was trying to satisfy my family that I would be a good boy. That is babysit.
I went home against medical advice AMA the pdoc who saw me called it. I hope I never see him again because I have a foul mouth and there are times when I use it. But the damn place scared me good. Trouble is, I've overdone the good boy trip and now it's being assumed that I'm going to "perform' I'm disabled and on tons of meds or so it seems. But not enuff anti depressants or tranks. I've got to calm down. Booze in moderation works...my idea of moderation is still having an inch in the bottle I've hidden. I'm an alcoholic and shouldn't drink. Lord does that infuriate me. Worse, I know AA will help...but for some reason I've developed a bad attitude. So it's therapy and drugs for me. And please dear god my wife has to learn no to pull her high and mighty sh*t with me. I think I mean she's go to realize I'm not on a leash. I've got that used-up, sucked dry feeling. I exist to take care of her biological progeny. That's a really cold way to put it...but she's way out in the cold now. Now to get numb and sleep. sorry for the rant, but I'm really in a dangerous mood and I don't want to do anything other than to be obnoxious but comfortably numb.Oh well, I made the choice. So now I've got to ignore that insistent voice in my head.I want to bust things up, smash and bash and thrash. Oh, can't swim because of surgery. Have to find another way. But not the mental ward. That is hell. cockeyed
poster:cockeyed
thread:520822
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050702/msgs/523205.html