Posted by JenStar on July 28, 2005, at 0:28:14
In reply to No abuse, but still want to hoard Klonopin..., posted by 4WD on July 27, 2005, at 22:55:08
hi Marsha,
I think I get what you're talking about. I was on Xanax for a while before my Lexapro stopped working. Now I was THRILLED to be off the Xanax - happy not to need it, happy because I didn't like the way I felt on it, happy because in general I dislike drugs and want to be on as few as humanly possible.BUT...despite all that...I hoarded my extra Xanax, too! Every time I get a prescription for Xanax or anything similar, I take less than prescribed and save it. I have about 5 old bottles, some years past the due date, of old "stuff" I never took, but that I still save. And it's silly, because my doctor is understanding and prescribes me a few pills here and there for flying (a big fear), or other issues. And I never want to actually take them, I just want to SAVE them just in case.
It's what you said - I remember the horrible, awful, terrifying fear, and how Xanax numbed me out of it. So even though I don't have that fear now, and even though i don't like Xanax, I worry in the back of my mind that I might get that way again, and need the X. to get thru it. So I save the stuff. And feel bad about it. But I still save it.
I guess if I was completely 'well' I would be able to throw it all out without a backwards glance. But I'm not there yet...
For you, I'd say just to take it as you need it. Hoard if you need to (to have that 'safety stash', and keep refilling your prescription as needed. It sounds like you're not saving it for any nefarious purpose -- just in case of emergencies (like the bottle is lost, or stolen, or contaminated, or melted...then you'll have extras until you can get a refill!)
I think the hoarding thing is related to self-preservation. We all know that doctors are understanding, and pharmacies are 24/7, and the med supply in the US is non-stop...but just in case...it's good to know that you have a little stash in case part of the system goes awry.
So I don't think it's weird, anyway. And I hope things are going well for you! Don't worry about taking the med. If you need it, take it. If and when you're ready, you'll know -- and then you can wean off it. Until then, don't give yourself a hard time. You're not abusing it, you're not addicted, and you want to use as little as possible. Be kind to yourself and take it if you need it!
take care,
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:534558
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050723/msgs/534600.html