Posted by Racer on September 18, 2005, at 1:01:57
In reply to Re: This sort of post is not allowed here, posted by NotSoSunny on September 17, 2005, at 13:15:15
You say that you don't have time to go to the hospital, and you say that it was worthless to you in your teens, but I have to tell you that the stresses in your every-day life are likely exacerbating your depression and desperation, and probably making it harder for the drugs to do their jobs. If you're really feeling as bad as you describe, you really should think again about that hospital.
As for your family, I'd venture to guess that they'd be a bit more relieved than you could ever know to have you go away for a week or two, and come back feeling better. I was hospitalized two years ago, and just being away from home -- even in a hospital contracted with the county, which was very much as described in "The Snake Pit" -- improved my condition hugely. The drugs would never have been able to kick in at home as fast as they did in the hospital. While there was no treatment of any real kind -- one group session, and one nutrition session (just because the nutritionist was the only staff member who had time and inclination) -- the simple fact that all the worries and stresses of my daily life were not there was so therapeutic. Frankly, about all I did most days was read, and I read a lot of things I had been promising myself I'd read ever since I was in high school -- Hawthorne, Melville, etc. {shrug} At least some good came of it, besides just getting me away long enough to relax.
Also, while I don't know how old your boys are, I promise you it's much, much harder on them than you think. I would give anything if my own mother had gotten help for herself when I was young. It would have saved me so much in my life, from sexual abuse, to much of my own mental illness. Think about doing it FOR your sons, rather than DESPITE them.
I hope you'll think again about the hospital. It sounds as though you need something more than the promise that at some point in the future these drugs will kick in and you'll feel better.
poster:Racer
thread:555925
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050914/msgs/556293.html