Posted by spriggy on November 17, 2005, at 18:18:48
This is so strange- I'm not even sure how to ask the question or describe what is happening to me.
I had been doing so well- better than I have all year (mentally).
Anyway, a friend from church called me Monday and had locked herself into her car saying she wanted to die, couldn't live anymore, her marriage was over, etc.. She was having a nervous breakdown.
I went and picked her up- took her up to the hospital that I was admitted to ( back in February-psychiatric unit), and we waited in the ER for nearly 7 hours before they even evaluated her.
FINALLY the psych evaluated her (at midnight) and decided that "yes she needs to be here but we don't have a room available until tomorrow."
So I drove her to my house, put her in my bed (my husband slept with our son) and all through the night she woke me up crying/screaming/shaking/freaking out.
Thankfully, they had given her Ativan at the ER (and Ambien) so I got up and gave her the meds... would pray with her until she fell back to sleep, etc..
The next morning, they called and said her room was ready so I went with her and watched her go through the exact, same ordeal I went through when being put into that place.
It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO weird for me to be back there (and yet not "be there" for myself). I stayed with her as long as they allowed me; they put her in her room (which was two doors down from mine) and gave her meds to calm down. Once she fell asleep, I left.
I cried the entire drive home ( 45 minutes). It's hard to describe but it was almost like it was TOOOOO much for me to see someone go through the EXACT same thing I had gone through and be in the EXACT same place I had been.
But at the same time, she had no one to be there for her- and especially no one who could understand her desperation and pain.. So I know I was "meant" to be there, but I have been struggling myself sooo much since.
It's almost like I was reminded of my misery and my memory has taken me back there..I'm almost trying to "trick" my mind into not remembering any of it.
Does this make ANY sense??
poster:spriggy
thread:579773
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051112/msgs/579773.html