Posted by chienandalusia on December 8, 2005, at 19:24:00
Hello,
I'm a 23 y.o. male about 16 weeks into a 20 week 80mg/day accutane regimen and I'm feeling horrible. This morning I took 1200mg sam-e, 100 mg wellbutrin sr, and drank 2 cups of very strong coffee. I've only been taking the sam-e a couple days and the wellbutrin only about a week, so they might not be affecting me at all. The only thing that makes me feel good these days is a lot of coffee. Without it I feel so low I think anything I attempt to do will fail. So I drink enough to get a substantial buzz which temporarily relieves my fear of everything but renders me inept at doing much other than talking and entertaining myself. And I'm letting my work, t-shirt screenprinting, pile up. For a while I was smoking pot and that was helping me be interested in life, but being high on pot when faced with responsibilities can suck. Interest in life is something I'm really missing. All my life I've been somewhat asocial; always afraid people were judging me. I have next to no close friends at present and have never had many in the past. I've always compared myself to everyone around me, and gotten really anxious or hopeless when I couldn't tell myself I was better than them. I've always been obsessed with my clothes and my looks and presenting myself as super cool or something. I never had any acne 'til I started college but it got so bad that one day I was watching an infomercial for proactiv and I realized I looked way worse than all of the "before" pictures of all the satisfied customers. That's when it really hit me that my face was f*cked up. I went from being self-concious about my acne to generally having deep self-loathing. Anyway, I've pretty much had rather to very bad skin for like 4 years and it's gotten a lot better since I started the accutane, but I still have some pretty f*cked up scars. I feel I look like a burn victim. But jesus, before I took the accutane, my skin looked a whole lot worse and yet I was still doing some dating; now I'm way more of a recluse. I'm less depressed about my skin, as it has improved, but I think I'm more depressed overall. I want complete the 20 week course so as to get the full benefits of it but I don't want to be as depressed as I am. Two of wellbutrin's side effects are acne and hairloss--just what I need. Anybody experienced these? I want to not feel horribly scared to be alive. I want to want to live. I want to be productive. I want to have energy but not all the jitters that come with drinking too much coffee. I want to be able to focus on things other than just the things I want to focus on. I mean, I've been able to focus well on writing this message, though I've been meaning to do it for a long time, but its so hard for me to do so many of the things I need to do: work, chores, meeting people, getting out of bed, etc. I'm scheduled to take a neuropsychological test in a few weeks to determine whether or not I have ADD. I'm definitely not hyperactive, though. More like hypersomnolecent. My thyroid thing is 1.9, I don't remember the units. I snore and talk in my sleep; could I have apnea? I like the idea of taking adderall because I've read it helps you get things done, something I seldom do. Does adderall induce acne very badly? I'm kind of obsessed with avoiding things that do.
Thank you for reading this. I would be very grateful for any advice you can offer me.
Paul
poster:chienandalusia
thread:587059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051203/msgs/587059.html