Posted by rfs on January 27, 2006, at 3:53:07
Greetings,
I take effexor and wellbutrin and for the most part they work for me. On occasion I take Klonopin. My question is I work for a large school system (school psy) when I am critisised by supervisors Assistant principles I simply loss it emotionally. I don't outwardly react but I go into an emotional tailspin that effects every part of my life. I become angry, depressed, obsessed etc. On a day to day basis I go to work and come home. I have had this job for ten years. I dont feel dedicated to it and I am not a perfectionist. I feel the criicisms are 75% unjustified. I will admit that I cut many corners because of time etc. but I feel the final product is accurate. I find it hardto express all the emotions and intensity I feel at these tmes. I wonder if this could be just normal or atypical D. Whatever it is takes me about a week to get over. It invades every part of my life. Part of it is insecurity of losing the position. But I have not heard of that in the ten years that I have been there.I would hate to be the first. Maybe this should have gone to a different board, I am not sure. Intellectually, I tell myself that the people I am dealing with (for the most part) are idiots or at least just following orders. It really all boils down to increased productivity on the one hand which is a constant issue and being accurate. So if you increase productivity you end up making mistakes and then your critisised for the mistake and they act as though they dont know your being pushed to produce. There are few I can talk to about this because I am sure all people feel this to a certain degree, but I become emotionally self destructive. I dont care I give up... what is the point... I should quit.. To top it off many many people in my position are taking early retirements sabaticles unpaid leaves quitting etc. so I know its not me but the system. By the way, for the first 7-8 years everything was fine. I liked work. I enjoyed going in etc, then they reorganized into a job that is not possible. I dont seem to have the motivation confidence to look for something else (fear)I dont Know that I even want to. I am about 10 years away from retirement and have gone through a fair amount of education to get to where I am, but it does not seem worth it.
Ray
poster:rfs
thread:603326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060122/msgs/603326.html