Posted by rvanson on April 16, 2006, at 21:33:33
In reply to Unfortunately, I am a Lifer...., posted by Crazy Horse on April 15, 2006, at 9:29:05
> I remember it like it was yesterday, my first psychiatric break down. It was at the end of a stressful junior year in college. It started with severe panic attacks and eventually horrible, bed ridden, Depression. When i finally got in to see a psychiatrist i was diagnosed with panic attacks and major depression. I thought my life was over.
>
> He started me on Imipramine and Ativan. I was also seeing a psychotherapist 2 times a week. I remember asking my pdoc how long this would last and if i would ever be normal again. He said something like 6 wks., and yes i would probably be "normal" again because the imipramine would correct the chemical imbalance in my brain and after approx. 1 yr. on imipramine i could taper off and theoretically the imbalance would be corrected...yea right! Remember, this was 25 yrs. ago.
> Well, it literally took about a year to even start to feel better. That year was a nightmare, many, many times, i contemplated suicide and only by the grace of God i didn't carry through. I remember begging God to let me die..I hated living, and saw no future for myself. My fiance' at the time dumped me as i'm sure she though i would never amount to anything. I was so hurt, so lonely, and so miserable.Your story is so close to mine its not funny.
I had a bad case of flu/mono virus in 1980, and after that my life had changed completely with a full case of depression, social anxiety and insomnia.
My GF at the time was wierded out by my symptoms and took off running too, but I didnt miss her much after a few weeks.
My condition doesnt allow me to become very mad or glad anymore, unlike normal people.
Hoping this Emsam will help, but like you am resistant to current medical treatments.
May I ask if you ever had the chance to use the FDA banned anti-depression medication, Merital, back about 1985, before they pulled it off the market?
poster:rvanson
thread:633418
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060412/msgs/633988.html