Posted by jeninne on June 16, 2006, at 20:16:20
Terrified that you will never get off the viscious addition to benzodiazpines? I once was. I would log on to this web site (where I actually did learn a lot)and log off even more afraid. I researched books, books by "experts" that said it was next to impossible to ever get off benzos. Everywhere I looked, an endless bad outcome was predicted. Even my psychiatrist was not hopeful, wanting to substitute one drug for another. (I came to affectionately calling him "The Pusher.")
In 2002, I was given a Rx for Ativan. It was to decrease muscle tension in my shoulder. I was going through a very difficult time and was told by a family member to take as much as 10 mg. every four hours to help with the aniexiety. I did. I took Ativan regularly for about 6 weeks. Then I started doing some research. This website was one of the most informative sites. I learned that one must slowly decrease the dosage in order to avoid side effects. Not once, did my doctor or pharmacist warn me of the dangers of withdrawl. I decided that over a period of two weeks to cut off my dosage. Each day I took less, until one day, I came to the last pill. 24 hours after that last pill - I was in the emergency room at Eisenhower Medical Facility in Southern California. Terrified, shaking, sweating, with a rapid heartbeat-they had no idea of what was going on with me. I was sent home. At the time we lived in the desert. Temperatures at that time were over 100 degrees each day. It never cooled off at night. The heat was oppressive. I should have never been behind the wheel, but I drove to the Bay Area that day. Hoping that returning to what felt "normal" for me would make the terror go away, I found myself in the emergency room again that night. Immediately, the doctor on duty knew what was happening to me. He gave me Ativan to put under my tounge. Slowly the symptoms went away.
I was referred to a specialist in withdrawl who prescribed anticonvulsants in the event of seizures as I withdrew. I had the choice of being locked up to go through withdrawl, or filling the prescriptions, going home and toughing it out. I choose neither.
I began by cutting pills. You can buy a pillcutter at any pharmacy and cut pills in to halves and quarters. I started out with an ambitious plan to wean off within 3 months. It didn't work. It was too fast. The regime was done at the suggestion of "The Pusher," but it was too abrupt. Again, I "crashed" and went through terror. I remember walking around the block in the middle of the night, just trying to outrun the horror in my mind. Through trial and error I learned to decrease in almost imperceptialbe increments. Books I read said it could never be done, but in one of the books I learned that if I found a compounding pharmacist, I could have him/her make up a liquid solution that would help once cutting pills became too tedious. I found a "Medicine Shoppe" and the pharmacist helped me. Every so slowly I titrated down my dose. I used the alarm feature on my cell phone to remind me when to take it. After 18 months (far longer than the orginal 3!) I was down to literally licking a half drop. When I finally stopped, I waited with tremendous trepidation for any return of symptoms. NONE have ever recurred. (It has been 2 years)
Living through something that terrifying forever alters ones life. "The Pusher" told me at takes 2 years for the brain to heal from a tramatic psychiatric event. I believe it!
Kava didn't work.
Biofeedback, while going through withdrawl - did. I learned that when in crisis the body 'dumps" hundered of hormones/enzymes in to the bloodstream, but by breathing deeply and "willing" oneself to consciously clam down (Kind of an oxymoron, as it is very difficult to breathe deeply and calm down when one is freaking out!) within 20 seconds the body will begin to stop the "dumping porcess." I found that it sometimes took 2 full minutes, but it DID work.
I had three episodes of terror as I was titrating down and weaning off. Sometimes I had to up the dosage for a while, and then decrease again slowly. Each time was less frightening.
Nightime was the worst. Resolve to not lay awake in bed. Get up, watch TV, breathe deeply 'till you are ready to sleep. Stay well rested, well hydrated, and well fed. Don't let your stomach go empty. Eat something not too sugary, and drink very little alcohol if any. Alcohol was an enemy during the weaning process. Drinking, even a glass of wine, was sure to cause "darkness." (Let's face it-the stuff is a depressant!) Now that I am over the weaning and free of the addiction, I can have moderate wine again or a mixed drink. Never much, however and I am still aware of the depressant effects.
I hope this helps you. I thank God everyday for not having horrible drugs in me, and I would have given anything to have found even a few words of encouragement at the time I was going through withdrawl. YOU CAN GET OFF BENZODIAZPINES.
poster:jeninne
thread:657802
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060610/msgs/657802.html