Posted by laima on July 23, 2006, at 10:23:42
In reply to Re: Please be civil, posted by Tymoney on July 22, 2006, at 21:45:03
Dear Tymoney,
Thank you for your response, it means a lot to me that you took the time to explain and all. I misunderstood the post, it's been very confusing. Now, it makes a lot more sense, knowing some background. I'm choosing to take your word for all of it and believe you 100%. I can completely comprehend, from what you relate, why the events of this post happened, and being no stranger to benzo/emergency room catastrophe scenario myself, I can really try imagine now what your younger brother went through and why he was so afraid and while I still wish he hadn't, I understand why he posted in the slightly disguised way that you relate he did. Believe me, no need to explain how horrifying it can be in the ER, particularly when certain staff discover that the purpose is in any way "psychiatric"!
And I too have experienced desertion from friends who I thought I could count on, but who became somehow distant when there was a crisis. How many times have I heard stuff like, "well- what are you messing with drugs for anyway, you don't need them, are you addicted", "You lost them? Again? Right. Took too many? Must've been a suicide attempt, obviously, you are headed for the locked ward." At one point even, "maybe someone should hold them for you and dole them out daily since you can't seem to manage" blah blah blah. It hurts, and yes, very, very scary and degrading. Took me a long time, like months or perhaps a year, to get a grip after going through that, and I am much older (I gather) than your brother. You mentioned your brother was quite young at the time of his episode, which I imagine made it even worse. No, I am in no place to judge him or anyone else who finds themselves experiencing this type of traumatic emergency.
I do heartily agree, by the way, the points brought up about having "emergency stashes" of drugs, or just splitting them up into different storage spots for the purpose of avoiding any problem, are really good advice. I try to do that now, too- after what I went through. And I don't think it's odd or sneaky at all- my dad does the same with his heart medications, for example.
I still acknowledge I should have read further down the thread and not angrily reacted so quickly. It's obviously a very touchy and sensitive topic for me, too. Maybe you can imagine from the few bits I mentioned above. My response to the post in question was swift and automatic because I originally understood it (incorrectly) as nothing but a tricky taunt directed towards people who are using benzos-as if we are some kind of "suckers" or whatever. I also now acknowledge- I wasn't "civil" in the way I responded. I am going to immediately remember this episode next time I ever encounter something upsetting (to me) before reacting impulsively, knock on wood.To be realistic, having just discovered the board within the last month or two, reading all of the old posts and history from pprevious years is a tall order, unless I spend days on the internet. (I don't think that would be the healthiest thing for me to do right now anyway- gotta get outside and deal with my problems that I've been avoiding and all.) I truely promise you, pledge to you, I had no idea of any earlier post, incident, or history related to this matter. I still haven't seen it, and out of respect to both of you, chose to not go looking for it.
I gingerly wonder why these two threads might not be deleted if the original poster regrets (if I am understanding correctly) and since apparently so many misunderstandings, embarressments, and hurt feelings seem to be coming up? I don't know if I mentioned, but yesterdays's accusations and civil warning really stung and hurt my feelings, too--right after the post itself hurt my feelings and felt like salt in old re-opened wounds. Yes, I understand better now why the accusations and warning came up, but I still felt misunderstood and hurt for the full day. It was a really hard day. But I'll have to learn from the experience and let it go. Again, your generous response today means a lot to me and I am very grateful and thankful you took the time.
Again, I realize I am in no position to judge someone, am very, very sorry to hear about your brother's horrifying ordeal, and the trouble you have experienced, too. Anyone would be lucky to have a brother as persistently and strongly supportive as you.
I wish you, and especially your brother, who sounds to have been so hurt by this entire, extended matter, peace. I hope we can call a truce, and most of all I hope you accept my sincere apology.Sincerely,
Laima
( Sorry if I rambled.)> Im just as at fault,been a little defensive here latly,and whether i am willyee` brother,or not,and i am,obviously he is not far,he just feels really defensive right now,which is why he was glad he was blocked.
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> You were right,you concerns were innocent,im very sorry for thinking they were more than that,to which case i simply would have just liked for someone to point out that it was an old thread,i am really sorry you were hit with a uncivil mark,i truly am.
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> But yess my brother has included us into play to ensure he doesent run out of his medication,silly as it sounds,he is given enough so he dont have feel like a child and ask,but not enough to run out.We hold the rest.It is easy for some people in the midst of a crisis to not even know your using more benzos than normal.
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> I was with him,and ER treated him like dirt,he calmy explained what happened,and it truly wasnt his fault,hes run short of benzos before,in matters of days or two,where he just had to bear down,but the situation at hand ended in a two week plight,and the ER after 2 hour wait provided 2 tabs when he clearly told them he had six days before his next visit to the NEW docter.
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> He was also scared because he had helped so many close friends and it took so long for them to respond,with hinsight hed have been fine with waiting,he just feared they would not help.
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> I recomend to any family memeber to possably slip a benzo away from your family member if possable,to keep as a emergency,this is just a suggestion,if there are strong reasons one finds aganist this i wouldent argue it,just something we find helpful.If the person knows you have some they will ask for it,have a secret supply that the person knows nothing about,so in a case of the person using too much,whetehr by faout or not,you can help them with this supply.
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> Again im so sorry for your uncilil post,i understand your concern about the story,i hope you understand why it was done,its not much of a justification,but i think it was a matter of the story not being allowed,so in order to share the situation he did this,trying to make it semi clear it was actualy true.
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> Dr bob is very strict on non prescription sites,and the like,with good reason.
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> Again sorry,now i hope you can re read the story and get something from it,and bassman,im sorry it seems your view on willyee seems to have changed.
poster:laima
thread:646372
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060717/msgs/669653.html