Posted by rett on February 9, 2007, at 22:58:36
really dont know what to do. drug history:
15yrs prozac -gd
stopped cold turkey- bad, after 7 months tried to go back on, flipped out more (strted asking really dumb questions, repeating myself, looked dazed and confused, couldnt make decisions, stopped looking after myself etc), tried 2 more times 1 month apart, flipped out more. overdosed on valium, trazodone and lunesta. no one found me, flipped out more. later celexa 3 weeks, stopped, cold turkey. did this a few more times.
please note that when i take celexa my heart rate goes up to 130 just standing. so doc gave something to slow down my heart. which puts me to sleep.
withdrawal vs. starting up etc. im a MESS now. no thoughts no emotions. FEAR. feel like people are diffeent than i am- they have "linear thoughts" i dont. cant make a decision. yes no yes no yes no.
not sure if i am paranoid due to prozac or due to me (second time around)!
the whole world seems somewhat surreal, am i convincing myself i am crazy or is it my brain chem? basically i just lie in bed, eat and smoke. i am in a real bad way.
my doc offered me antipsychotics. i dunno whether to take them or not. i ried them in hospital and i was just a zombie- couldnt see, nothing. but someone said those side effects might go away??
at this point i hate leaving the house, i dont tend to myself at all.MORE DRUGS or what?? i feel like im on drugs already. doc doesnt know i start and stop the celexa so many times- he thinks im on it. i have another condition that resembles flu (candida- which also made me react to things really oddly- eating was like taking a sleeping pill) so i really cant tell ,my physical symptoms of withdrawal since i barely get out of bed anyway.
WHAT DO I DO?? ANTIPSYCHOTICS?? GEEZ i only had an eating disorder when i was put on the prozac years ago!!my doc left the choice to me. he does not believe in prozac withdrawal though it happened to me before- exact timing and everything, though last time i could go on prozac again to stop the slide- this time it didnt work. hes the one that says "your mind cant be blank you are talking". my life has spiralled out of control. beyond anyones imagination. i wouldnt believe it if it werent true.
MORE DRUGS?? antipsychotics? or do i just hope my drug induced haze will pass??
doc says he has 30yrs experience bah blah i am no diff than anyone else. well, he is wrong and i think he's up his own butt. though i cant change docs cuz i have no insurance. its been so long since i have felt normal i truly do not know if i ever will be again. i simply dont function. since i have the candida problem as well and reacted with flu like symptoms to food (which i know, had it for years, made worse by my bingeing). i feel like i am at a total loss, i dont know if the flu like symptoms are drug induced, or food candida induced.help!!!!!!!!!!!
antipsychotics?? try again??
note: i was given them in hospital but they didnt help and i could barely see never mind think straight.
oh yeah, and im also afraid to leave the house. if it werent true what a mess i am it would be funny. i dont even feel human anymore.doc thinks candida wouldnt affect my mind, but it affects how my gut absorbs things drugs etc and te side effects- i mean before i couldnt even have a vitamin without being nauseaus. now my body is in total shock from all the meds!! forget brain.
if i leave my brain alone (no drugs) will it heal?? or has the withdrawals etc sent it into a tail spin?? do i need antipsychotics to balace it? do i try to go on celexa again??? and stay on it??
the doc doesnt believe about candida either. :(
thoughts most welcome though this is beyond anyones wildest dreams- definitely mine. actually in my dreams i am normal. and when i wake up, its hell.
poster:rett
thread:731532
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070207/msgs/731532.html