Posted by Quintal on February 13, 2007, at 16:07:22
In reply to Back from Exile, posted by Quintal on February 13, 2007, at 15:56:22
Here is my old RemedyFind clonazepam rating from 2003:
__________________________________________________I've been taking clonazepam daily for over one year now. I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder as well as severe and chronic insomnia and for me this drug has been an absolute miracle. My symptoms have disappeared almost 99%; to hell with the underlying causes!!! As far as I'm concerned, I'M CURED! I can't thank the pharmocologists who invented this drug and the doctor who prescribes it to me enough.
I also feel that I cannot adequately condemn those among the medical community (and the general public) who seem to have an obsessive hatred and irrational phobia of the benzodiazepines and the people who take them regularly.
I've tried all the SSRI anti-depressants, and others, which were prescribed by several heavily 'benzophobic' doctors who claimed that the SSRI's were far superior in reliving anxiety & insomnia, and their supposed lack of dependence & withdrawal made them most suitable for my condition.
Almost all people in my situation with adequate experience will tell you that this is complete and absolute rubbish. The SSRI's have many, often intolerable side-effects. In addition they cause and worsen anxiety and insomnia in most people!
After taking Effexor (venlafaxine) for 2 months the side-effects were intolerable so I decided to stop. Cold turkey.
What followed was the worst drug-related withdrawal of my life. I thought it would never end. I'd already stopped Lorazepam (Ativan)-an allegedly highly addictive benzodiazepine cold turkey after 5 months of continuous use, with only a few mild headaches as a result.
But venlafaxine was far, far worse. Nausea, vomiting, migraine, diarrhea, muscle weakness and the strangest feeling of disorientation /dissociation. This lasted for 5 weeks. Pure hell. When I told my psychiatrist he just shrugged and laughed.
"Yes, venlafaxine and paroxatine do have a bit of a withdrawal syndrome. I'll give you a small dosage to help you through. Don't worry It'll soon pass. I'll start you on Prozac when the wash-out is complete."So much for the lack of withdrawal symptoms.
Anyway, I just want to let you all know that clonazepam is not dangerous, evil drug and god forbid it is ever taken off the market. It is very effective for most people. Withdrawal effects seem to be mild, and only occur after long-term high-dose use.
Irresponsible prescribing by physicians and abuse of the drug by patients has, on occasion, lead to life-changing problems that require intensive rehabilitation.
Sorry, but I don't believe the melodramatic claims that 'lives have been ruined' as a consequence. Certainly very inconvenienced and disrupted, but not forever 'ruined'.
My experience with venlafaxine was pretty much the same but I cannot honestly say the experience ruined my life.
These cases do not make clonazepam a dangerous drug, or indicate that it should be withdrawn from the market. Many more lives would be ruined by plunging people like myself back into excruciating anxiety, and thus the miserable hermit-like existence that follows.
Good old-fashioned 'therapy' is often very harsh and unpleasant-it is not a cure and treatments like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy do not address and solve the 'underlying problem'-(if there is one that can be identified!). Like medication they simply treat the external symptoms.
These could be classified as side-effects comparable to the SSRI's.
Sensible and selective prescribing by the physician, and responsible following of the doctor's instructions by the patient should eliminate most of the bad experiences with clonazepam.If anyone out there wants my advice about clonazepam-definitely go for it!
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Here is another old RemedyFind rating of mine for clonazepam from 2004. I thought long and hard before posting this as it contains a reference to suicidal thoughts. There was concern about triggering suicidal thoughts in others when I posted this on RemedyFind. In fact, people who were feeling that way themselves emailed to tell me of the hope it had given them to hear of another person in the same situation who had found a way out.
__________________________________________________Xanadu (73) [ United Kingdom ]
5/2/2004 9:41:03 PM
Clonazepam- My Wonder Drug for Social Anxiety!
Clonazepam changed my life positively in every way; more than I would ever have believed possible during the previous years in which I existed in isolation, enduring constant fear - a sense of impending doom; and the moments of sheer terror when I was forced to leave the relative safety of my hermitage in order to get provisions and the other bare essentials necessary for survival.I suffer from a severe form of Social Anxiety Disorder, some may call it Avoidant Personality Disorder - but those are simply relative terms used by medics to define a set of symptoms and their severity. I also suffer from recurring depression, which too is often severe.
I have tried all the SSRI's, a few tricyclics, moclobemide, the MAOI isocarboxazid, venlafaxine, mirtazapine, Depakote, trazodone and gabapentin. Also, several psychological therapies. None of these treatments had any beneficial effect on my symptoms of social anxiety, although some did relieve my depression and escitalopram seems to be effective in preventing panic. The problems I find intolerable with the SSRI's are sexual dysfunction (anorgasmia and loss of sexual desire), and emotional numbness.
I had difficulty obtaining clonazepam, not only because it is a benzodiazepine and most medics now subscribe to an anti-benzodiazepine dogma, but also because clonazepam is licensed only as an anti-convulsant for the treatment of epilepsy in the UK.
My usual dose of clonazepam was one 2mg tablet twice daily. Initially I felt sedated and perhaps a little euphoric. These side-effects diminished during the initial days of therapy and were absent after approximately a month of sustained use. During maintenance therapy, which continued over a period of two years, the dose remained at 4mg daily but for one exception during which the dose was increased to 8mg daily for two months to cause night-sedation since I was having difficulty sleeping and my doctor did not want to combine two benzodiazepines. The dose was reduced to the original 4mg daily after this period without taper; withdrawal symptoms were absent.
The maintenance dose of 4mg daily was free of side-effects and maintained the same degree of anxiolysis as in the initial weeks of therapy. I did not develop tolerance to the anxiolytic effects of clonazepam. However, tolerance to the sedative effects was pronounced and rapid. Since in my case long-term sedation was undesirable, then tolerance to this effect was an improvement in suitability and tolerability.
During maintenance therapy with clonazepam I found that I could participate in and enjoy normal activities from which I would previously have fled in terror. I enrolled on a two-year course studying biology, psychology, chemistry and physics at my local college and was awarded several good qualifications.
I was gainfully employed for the first time in my life. One job as a care assistant in a nursing home for the elderly involved constant social interaction with a team of carers, and often with aggressive and argumentative residents. Amazingly, I was able to work effectively in these conditions with little or no pathological anxiety - truly amazing compared to my mental state only months previously.
My psychiatrist recently advised me to reduce the dose of clonazepam. He continued to reduce the dose and my anxiety symptoms gradually increased. Eventually at 0.5mg I decided that such a small dose was probably not worth taking and I should discontinue it altogether.
I had just been appointed a psychiatric nurse who is *very* heavily subscribed to the anti-benzodiazepine dogma. I would go as far as to say he is a borderline fanatic on this issue. He freely admitted - in fact, boasted, as such at our last meeting. I have difficulty believing that my psychiatrist selected him purely by chance.
I made the leap from 0.5mg without taper and yes, I did have the withdrawal syndrome; tinnitus, nausea, vertigo, depression, loss of appetite, loss of body weight, panic attacks and of course, severe anxiety.
The apparent reasoning behind the clonazepam withdrawal was that I would feel much better without it. Ian (the psychiatric nurse) told me everyone he had seen who had undergone benzo' withdrawal told him they felt much better, even colours were brighter, taste of food more enjoyable and had better mood etc. He said he would enjoy saying 'I told you so' when I found his prediction correct.
At the time of writing it has been six weeks since I took my last dose of clonazepam. The withdrawal syndrome faded away at two weeks and I am now left with the original symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder. I am once again a hermit, and am tormented by the constant criticism of my inner mental voice. Going out into the outside world is - well, feels too bad to adequately describe in words.
Where is the benefit in this? What good has come, and can come from this? I now rely on the state benefit handouts to sustain me since I am unable to work, or even study in my current mental state. I am a burden to society, my family and the few distant friends I now have. I take so much and can give so little in return. This is not the way I want to be or the way I intend to spend the rest of my life.
I have seriously contemplated suicide. Not in a hysterical, tormented frenzy; but in a calm, rational and logical manner. Is there any benefit to my continuing existence in this state? I don't think so.
Sure, my family will miss me - for a while. But how much would the pain caused by my death compare with the pain I experience every waking hour; probably for the rest of my life? And would it *really* be so selfish for me to terminate my own life to end the agony, but *not at all* selfish for those who would wish me to stay alive and endure this simply for their own contentment and vague peace of mind?
Is not expecting a person to endure immense suffering for the purpose of *your* own comfort and the prevention of *your* own pain, not *in itself*, too, an act of selfishness and cowardice? How about having the courage, selflessness, and the empathy to let that person who has suffered so much [and would continue to suffer] be at peace?
I believe that suicide is not, as is commonly; and often thoughtlessly articulated; an act of cowardice. It is an act of either rapid compulsion or an extreme effort of will.
Most people who have actually been that close to the edge know just how much effort of will and extreme anguish the act demands, to go over that point of no return. Of facing the horrifying abyss that is your own death.
The will to live is extremely powerful, and that inherent, instinctive fear of death is in no way diminished simply because suicide is a voluntary act. It takes an enormous effort of will to overcome the opposing forces, thus the motivation for suicide must be one of overwhelming despair and terror of the continuation of living; or the conviction of immense courage and a resolution that death is the only noble and honourable outcome that can result from a terrible situation. Suicide is most certainly *not* a passive act.
Anyway, after my vindication of rational suicide, let's get back to the medication issue.
I simply want to have my life back. Clonazepam can do that - it has never failed me. Surely any reasonable person can see that clonazepam helps me overcome a severe disability. What type of person, I wonder, would willingly inflict and allow this level of suffering to continue for the purpose of their particular beliefs and medical preferences. I don't think any such people should be allowed to work with the vulnerable people in mental healthcare.
I just hope that by some miracle I can get clonazepam back soon, otherwise my feeling that suicide would be the best option would probably increase. And worryingly, I think that during these episodes in my life I actually have the will to carry it out.
UPDATE TO ALL CONCERNED:
I have obtained clonazepam from an online pharmacy. I would not normally break the law and engage in this activity in a major way; nor do I encourage it. However, as those of you who have followed the story so far will already understand, I was in dire circumstances and this could literally have been the deciding point between life and death.
Thanks for listening. Dosage: 2 mg. tablet / wafer
Frequency: 2 x day
Total Length: several years
Brand: Rivotril
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__________________________________________________Q
poster:Quintal
thread:732459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070213/msgs/732462.html