Posted by jealibeanz on March 16, 2007, at 14:40:08
In reply to Re: Xanax XR is horrible!, posted by jealibeanz on March 16, 2007, at 15:16:25
And I'm basically panicking right now... out of nowhere, nothing happened. I can't breathe very well, my muscles are tense, my thoughts are racing.
I hate this.
I don't want to call my doctor's office and be the psycho,hypochondriac,drug-seeking, never satisfied, always in our office patient, who's complaining because this new drug that my doctor thinks should help me, does not, and ask for regular Xanax.
I was just there. I just told my doctor the drug wasn't helping. He thought he fixed the problem, and sent me on my way.
If I could actually call and speak to my doctor, I would consider calling, but I can't. The nurses answer the phones. There's one who particularly hates dealing with me (because she's mad at my mother... sad, because her daughter was my sister's childhood bestfriend). She'll blow me off, be rude, make me feel bad, and probably not give the message.
I just want to be able to get through this on my own, or get by for a month or two on this med trial, out of respect for my doctor, and show him that I am open-minded.
But living in daily panic just is a horrible way to live. I certainly can't do this long-term. It's too bad that I have to go through this at all.
Good thing I only have 2 on campus classes and two online. No job right now. The classes are easy. Otherwise, I'd be quitting my job and dropping out of school, which is just not like me at all.
The one thing I have going for me is that everyone at that office loves me (except the nasty nurse, who really has no problem with me, and I continue to be friendly with her in public and at the office, acting like she isn't fighting with my mother). I treat them all with such kindness and respect, which is rare in medicine.
Most patients at least somewhat place there illness on the provider. I don't. I take full responsibility for who I am and what do. My doc and PA are just very nice people who have the ability to give me ways to alleviate problems. That's how I really feel. I smile and make small talk and say thank you to all the staff about 1000 times at every visit, no matter how much anxiety I have, been sleeping 2 hours a night for an entire semester, am extremely depressed, or have laryngitis and can barely speak. It's not their problem. It's mine.
poster:jealibeanz
thread:741583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070314/msgs/741651.html