Posted by River1924 on March 20, 2007, at 0:01:46
In reply to Re: Atypical depression vetted out of studies? » FredPotter, posted by Ines on March 19, 2007, at 17:57:58
Hi,
Thanks for reading my previous posts and the comments.
I'm not sure how to respond to your post. I am much the same. (My niece who died recently was much more like you.... Crying in the toliet and feeling phoney seem to be more of a female experience.) When people ask me how are you, I feel like a fake if I say awful because at that moment, I usually don't. I think the right question with those with atypical depression is "How were you when you were alone ten minutes ago?" I can usually answer, I felt kinda down and was thinking of suicide. I understand the the ocd component. Without zoloft, I can kinda live with suicidal thoughts (which will appear) for a few days because they don't even seem like my ideas... slowly the ideas leak in and I feel swamped with sorrow. My emergency meds are stelazine and razadyne. Stelazine calms me down without making me sleepy. I can take it alone but, after a week, I feel kinda brain dead. The razadyne prevents that. Abilfy isn't sedating either. You might want to try it. It can make one feel tense and cause insomnia initially. I think if one is prone to suicidal thoughts, one needs an anti-psychotic to use for a month or two now and then. There is a connection between atypical depression and bipolar depression. Don't let youself treat your illness according to how you appear to others. It is serious. Even at my best, I test extremely depressed when my pdoc has me feel out a form. I can't imagine life any other way and most people don't really think there is much wrong with me. Perhaps, I should carry around the test and ask other people to take it. I'm sure they would be shocked at my answers. That's their problem.
Does any of this make sense? I hope so. River.
poster:River1924
thread:737405
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070314/msgs/742368.html