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FEAR WEAK NEEDY FORGOTTEN USELESS

Posted by Fivefires on April 4, 2007, at 14:12:12

I dream of days filled w/ family around me.

I awaken to no one, no blinking on answering machine ... ALONE ... realization. I'm ending a toxic 11-1/2yr relationship. I'm trying to do NADLs and a more, attending DBT again.

BUT, OK, THIS IS THE THING ...........

I can choose Lib*ium or Xan*x or Xan*x-XR when I see my P this week.

Valium 10mg 3x a day (for 2yrs) pooped out this past few months.

As the day nears end and I realize no one has called and I've spoken w/ no one, I fear going to sleep.

I'M AFRAID TO AWAKEN TO THIS EMPTY LIFE AFTER DREAMS OF HAPPY TIMES! ANXIETY SKYROCKETS!

I'm on Libr*um 25mg 3x a day, a month now.

I'm 'fair to midland' until the sun begins to set. Then anxiety skyrockets.

I realize I've seen or spoken to no one, I mean no one about my life.

I fear awakening to another day of loneliness from dreams of happiness.

My anxiety reaches a level Libru* doesn't control.

So .... I wrap myself in my father's throw and curl into fetal position and cry self to sleep.

It's killing me.

Shall I stay w/ the Librium and ask P re: increasing third dose of the day?

Or, shall I go w/ Xan*x or X*nax-XR???

I 'CAN FEEL RELIEF' w/ X (Yes I have tried it.), more than 'CAN FEEL RELIEF' w/ L.

I metabolize like nobody's business, i.e., my estrogen replacement is twice what most women need. When on Effexor-XR, I had to take a dose just after midday. Essentially extended release and sustained release don't work for me. My bod' eats it up like it's not extended or sustained, but a regular 4-6 hour medication!

Maybe Libr*um has 'this hynotic thing like Valium'???? Maybe this is why the anxiety breaks through in the evening????

INeed2WakeUp/Etheridge, 5f


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poster:Fivefires thread:746913
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070402/msgs/746913.html