Posted by Jay on May 10, 2007, at 8:16:59
In reply to It's attacking me again, posted by JerryPharmStudent on May 10, 2007, at 7:13:34
> I'm...barely hanging on. So many thing on my mind - creditors calling, finacial problems, love life problems ( = no love life). I've accepted the fact I will be alone until then end of my life.
>
> I sit on my couch daily just wanting to sleep to escape because to be awake is too painful. I hear people outside walking by and enjoying life and the weather. I have no joy.
>
> I'm tired of trying to find the right pdoc, the right drug...everything.
>
> You people are the ONLY people in my life who listen and understand what I am going through. If only I had that in real life. But as history has shown - It hasn't and won't happen.
>
> The aching in my heart is tremendous...my eyes welling up with tears.
>
> WHY do I keep myself alive??? I don't get it? 15 years of pain. And now all I want to do is sleep and avoid life/reality which is like being dead anyway.
>
> I'm not going to commit suicide. And I'm not going to a hospital. I'm done with it.
>
> Just could someone talk to me?
>
> In pain.....
> JerryHi Jerry...
Ohhh...I feel your pain my friend..maybe not 'exactly', but in the same general area. There is a little Chinese saying, even if it is hard to swallow.."Crisis is opportunity". It's been about 13 years for me being on meds. This idea that a doctor hands one antidepressant to everybody and all will be well, is obviously not quite true. I've had to try SO many combinations of psych meds...I can't even think about it..heh. But, thanks to a very intelligent and open, caring doctor, I've mixed some odd combinations of meds to suit my symptoms. First, though, can you tell what meds you are on, and how long have you been on them? Any 'partial-responder' meds from the past? Okay...and now for my part. After consistent medical checkups, my doctor allowed me to try 3 antidepressants at once. I am also on two antipsychotics...one PRN..the other daily. I've got a good, strong benzodiazepine, bromazapam (which seems to me as close as Xanax as can get..), that I take 3 times a day.
Even though I don't believe you can prescribe just an antidepressant for depression, when mixed with a good strong benzo, over time I eventually used less benzos. One of my main problems these days, though, is my sex drive and some weight gain. Once the mind is better at ease, your doctor can help you with the sexual thing (using testosterone, serotonin antagonists, etc) My sleep is quite amazing these days, because I can get up early if needed, and don't feel the dread I used to.(I just take a couple of Tylenol #3's.) IMHO...(No, I am no doctor..I just play one on tv..lol) I'd say ramp up to a good strong benzo dose, experiment a bit with different antidepressants, and possibly a good strong atypical antipsychotic for 3-4 weeks. Use your benzo to quash any anxiety.
So, that is my 'viewpoint'...and you do have to tailor your meds to what brings you relief. Please feel free to Babblemail me if you wish.
Hope is eternal,
Jay
poster:Jay
thread:757358
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070509/msgs/757373.html