Posted by deniseuk190466 on May 30, 2007, at 13:25:13
Apart from my memory that is?
I mean I don't feel alive half the time, I don't look forward to anything, I keep working in order to stop myself pacing the walls of my flat but that's about it. I don't feel any joy in anything. I mean it will either work or it won't and if it doesn't work then hopefully I will always have the Zyprexa to fall back on for this anxiety that I get.
Antidepressants help to the degree that I can fake it better but I don't really feel the way I used to or the way I think other people feel about life.
The Zyprexa helps a hell of a lot and I'm really grateful for it, it helps me to enjoy some things it's just not the same as feeling alive and looking forward to things, living etc.
The only thing that would worry me about ECT is that it would impair my memory so much that I wouldn't be able to work again but I could always do charity work or something.
I just want a few years freedom from this incessant ruminating and feeling down and scared every day.
Denise
poster:deniseuk190466
thread:760391
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070524/msgs/760391.html