Posted by starfox on June 3, 2007, at 14:04:48
Hi All,
As some of you may or may not know I have recently spilt from my girlfriend after 5 yrs and am very depressed at present and finding it hard to cope with life right now. I have struggled with depression and early morning awakenings for around 3-4 years but over the course of the last year especially the last 6 months I have been having serious mood swings which have been become progessively worse. I go through a range of emotions everyday from deep sadness and depression to thoughts of elation and expectation. For example for much of the day today I felt extremeley depressed with thoughts of suicide(which i would never carry out because im to scared of dying!) and then about 1 hour ago and still now as I write this post I feel somewhat euphoric with thoughts being very positive, like get myself together, clean my flat, ring up my mum, give someone a hug, go for a jog, you get the idea!!. I feel like im having a huge surge of positive energy sweep over me(and no im not high on any drugs!). It's the mirror opposite of how I felt this morning and for much of the day. But I know at any given moment this mood will all of a sudden sink right back to the black hole of depression with a negative pattern of thought and despair. These dramatic mood swings are driving me crazy and I feel like I just dont know who I am anymore and It scares me, just like it scared my ex-girlfriend. Fits of rage and anger, sorrow, then happiness. What is happening to me. I am seeing my doctor on june 11th so I will print this post and show it to her to see what she makes of it. Also I have strange vivid dreams at night then always wake up too early in the morning and cant get back to sleep. This happens every night and morning, I know and understand that most babblers on these forums are no doctors but do I have Bipolar depression??.
poster:starfox
thread:761045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070524/msgs/761045.html