Posted by stargazer2 on August 19, 2007, at 9:54:10
In reply to Re: Lost years-amandafran, posted by jhj on August 19, 2007, at 0:47:20
The first time I went to someone with my "issues" I too was in my late 20's or early 30's. I thought I had lost most of my life to depression and never feeling well. Well, today at 50, I realize even after feeling better a few times, the relapse rate for me is very high and I have spent more years in a depression than out of one.
So, unfortunately, the treatment for me was never lasting and I am still trying to find a sense of "normalcy" which I had found and lost 2 different times in 20 years.
I am so disgusted with the lack of reponse i have had when others have had it relatively easy to find an answer. The struggle I have been in makes me think there is nothing that can help me and perhaps, it isn't depression but somethng else but what is it and what will get rid of it. My pdoc doesn't have many answers so I have tried to research myself without much luck.
I never thought my life would be so unfulfilled and hard as it has been. I am angry that I got the "defective" gene or whatever has caused my life to be unfocused and my motivation so poor and my vulnerability to rejection and scutiny so profound.
I am quickly running out of answers since the way depression is treated is such an inexact science and like I said, my time has been wasted for so many years. I don't even have a chance to resume any work or career ambitions since i have never feel like I fit in and I have always been rejected becasue of my insecurities. The few times I was out of the depression I felt confident and able to move forward in life, but this was such a short time and no meds have ever worked since then and I have tried and tried with the help of one pdoc to get a remission.
I just think my wiring is so messed up even the drugs don't make a difference.
Has anyone else beeen stuck for this long? It used to not matter how old I was but now it does since I never thought my life would be on hold for this many years.
It isn't like I haven't tried, I have been trying and still haven't gotten out from under this burden...At what point do you give up trying?
It may be time to stop all meds again, since if they are not helping, why am I on them?
Stargazer
poster:stargazer2
thread:777020
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070815/msgs/777069.html