Posted by Girlnterrupted78 on September 2, 2007, at 8:10:57
In reply to Re: early morning brain chemistry, posted by KayeBaby on September 1, 2007, at 19:20:22
> Me too. I drag all morning no matter when I actually got up. Really 3pm is the earliest I ever feel like getting around.
>
> My brain doesn't want to shut down once it gets going and doesn't want to re-start after it's shut down. meds are the only thing I have ever found to give me any measure of control over this and it still takes plenty of discipline most of the time.Wow, I could have written that myself. Very well put--describes the feeling exactly right.
I used to get up at 10-12pm and felt very tired--and GUILTY--for being "lazy." My family always saw you as 'lazy' if you weren't up by 8am doing something--whatever that was.
Now I get up at 6-7am (thanks entirely to Nardil) and while I can come online, sit at my desk, read, make some coffee and breakfast, etc.. the minute I think about going out and hitting the gym or running an errand, I start feeling this urge to go back to bed to somehow "recover" from the lack of energy I feel.
Thinking of going out immediately makes me feel tired. And something tells me that sleeping a bit more will help me get up refreshed--even though I know that will NEVER be the case. I NEVER wake up refreshed and ready anymore. I'll wake up just as tired, more guilty, and the only thing that will force me to run some errands is the guilt of running out of time and knowing the place is possibly closing soon! How awful to have to act out of guilt all the time. But that's how my life has turned out thanks to my depression.
It's a horrible state, and yet Nardil hasn't fixed it. It gave me a great incentive by automatically waking me up pretty early. Yet, I still can't get over my sleeping late addiction and my morning lack of energy--just what you describing, the shutting down and restarting of your brain.
> I have accepted it and have mostly been able to schedule my life accordingly.
>Great for you. I haven't accepted it--it puzzles me and makes me upset. But I have scheduled my life accordingly since I have no other choice at the moment. It's either that, or nothing!
GI78
poster:Girlnterrupted78
thread:779874
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070831/msgs/780326.html