Posted by Fivefires on September 18, 2007, at 13:32:58
In reply to Re: Okay I'm starting to get scared again already, posted by rskontos on September 14, 2007, at 15:37:45
And I think this, your being here for me, is the reason, 'I'm here still'. This isn't good to say but it could very well be true.
I never thought I'd risk my privacy this way, ya' know? Things i say here will here for a long time. People I know and love may read them, be angry, hurt, confused, or surprised.
But, I don't care, because this is 'my life' and I have to use every tool available to me.
Now I'm not rich and I'm not manic, so getting out and socializing, or becoming involved in something new all by myself is really hard for me, now. (It didn't used to be.) I think having behavioral health problems(?) and, aging, and maybe not seeing any real improvement, make me think things will never change and I become 2 complacent. Not what want for self; never much of a pacifi*t or wallflower and not comfortable there.
There is more I could do for myself if I didn't have financial restraints. This isn't an excuse. It is true. I see a lot of alternatives I can't afford.
Just this morn' I lost track of time and missed an appt. How will I return to work if I am missing appts midday to do something I enjoy?? I've been ramping up my resume and getting ready to search, but I'm not sure able.
So, this communication is about as close as I can get to bettering myself at this time.
I did just put in a call to my pdoc front office staff re: samples so best get offline. (I can't afford DSL!)
tks rk, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:782526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070911/msgs/783752.html