Posted by stargazer2 on October 1, 2007, at 18:55:09
In reply to Re: Treatment Resistant Thoughts, posted by reese7194 on September 26, 2007, at 19:14:57
Reese, so much of what you said is how I feel when I experience another relapse and I have lost count of how many times this has happened. Right now I feel well enough to not really remember how bad it gets but your words reminded me of where I've been and where I probably will go again. It has been 30 years for me, starting when the MAO's were used as standard treatment until they failed and then that was the time Prozac was touted as the best drug to come the road in a ong time. I've tried most meds out there and never know if any will workand if they do for how long. How I have kept any belief through this is beyond me since it is such a dark, lonely place to be.
During my relapses my life becomes a series of efforts of going to the drug store, multiple med trials often lasting months, going to my doctor and back again, all trying to keep enough faith to keep doing it over and over. That is a place that can last for months and this past time, more than a year to see any improvement.
It's hard to keep trying over and over and the only thing that sustains me is having a good, caring doctor that listens to me and my suggestions of what to try next. He gives me credit for not giving up and this has gone on with him for about 18 years. So he knows what I have gone through. He know how close I have come to giving up but together we keep trying and occasionally we get to a point where I have periods of normalcy (or so) until the next bout inevitably occurs.
I think I'm finally realizing that I will never
be the person I could have been. Depression has defined who I am and I am sad for all I will never be able to achieve.Thank you for your honest post.
Stargazer
poster:stargazer2
thread:783554
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070929/msgs/786333.html