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What will happen next

Posted by andromeda on November 9, 2007, at 11:35:47

Been messing around for 15 years with this bipolar. First Dx as Bipolar NOS Today I would say I have Bipolar II with mixed states and daily,weekly cycling.
Came to the conclusion that I have to stop the cycling completely. Is not worth waiting around for maybe a nice hypo manic mood to show up. So back on lithium as a start until I see my PDoc. Low dose 150 mg 2 x day. So far dull cognition, flat, boring, spacey but not exactly depressed. More anxious than anything. In past Docs would add something for depression but all that would do would cause more cycling. Lamictal caused cycling. Been on all types of meds, combos, etc. Lower doses cause less problems with sedation. 12.5 mg of seroquel will put me to sleep for 8 hours.
May switch to Depakote or add to lithium.
If cycling completely stops are you left with depression forever or will it eventually even out. How long will that take to do so?
Its almost like giving up yourself or your way of life. Have decided I can give that up for the gain of something that may be less stressful. Just have to remember how sucky it was vast majority of time. Be like losing your arm, learn to live with loss.
Has anyone gotten better when they stopped their cycling completely? Does it feel like losing yourself? Do you than become NORMAL and life is just kind of mediocre instead of chaos? Help me understand what I can or cannot expect if cycling is stopped. Thank you


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poster:andromeda thread:794097
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