Posted by gardenergirl on November 15, 2007, at 22:30:58
In reply to Re: Ran out of Provigil + stopped Lamictal = depre » gardenergirl, posted by ClearSkies on November 15, 2007, at 15:23:15
> I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a depressive episode. Surely it must be related to the medication changes, don't you think? Lamictal did nothing for me, but I could never detect any improvement in my mood from taking it, so when I stopped I merely felt the relief from the side effects stopping. Lamictal helps so many others - it sounds like maybe it was working in concert with the lithium?
Thanks. Judging from your reaction when stopping it, it doesn't sound like what I'm experiencing is a withdrawal effect of Lamictal. Guess it was helping. To which my negative thinking brain adds, "darn it!" How stupid is that?
I do think it's a great deal medication related. But there's also recent termination to consider. It's brought up a lot of old grief. And of course I can't process that with him anymore, dang it. I procrastinated on the big feelings about termination too long, and now it's too late. And my mom is moving many miles away--hence the quick out of town this weekend to accompany her--and there's grief about that. Happiness for her and my sis and nephew, too. But grief.
It's so complicated, isn't it? Of course hindsight tells me that I should have been a bit more careful about making sure I had everything I needed in place, including meds, to cope with what was absolutely going to be emotionally difficult.
>
> I hope that you're able to see your pdoc sooner rather than later. I would also concur that the Provigil was probably making a big difference in keeping you going (and perhaps masking the depression).Hmm, I didn't think about it masking it. I kind of viewed it as being the thing that worked on the excessive sleepiness and ADHD-related problems. That's a good theory to bring up with my pdoc. Thanks!
>
> Good luck with your trip - I know how difficult it can be to slap on a happy face when you're really not feeling it.I wish you didn't know. And I found today it's actually literally true about putting on a happy face. I'm starting to feel a bit better today, and I was listening to music I love and always sing along to (Dixie Chicks) while driving up to Mom's. I found I literally felt like my "smile" muscles were almost paralyzed. I couldn't really smile even though I usually do with this music and sort of felt like it. Weird. Very weird. Because I usually smile pretty easily.
Thanks again,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:795259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071115/msgs/795386.html