Posted by iforgotmypassword on February 8, 2008, at 23:43:58
day 1: took it late afternoon. definately nothing in terms of immediate effect for me.
i will update periodically, especially if/when things change.
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to clarify/recap, my problems are complete lack of functioning, drive, feeling, concentration, cognitive connection ability, useful memory, useful fluency, learning ability, enjoyment, ability to make decisions, ability to understand anything new, ability to have real likes and dislikes, ability to want. my problems with executive functioning are so severe, i have a strong sense that my problems are frontal lobe related. i wear the same clothes everyday, my dad comes to get me to get me out of the house and eat something... almost every day. otherwise i just lie here, staring at a computer screen in my bed, and i have a poor and declining connection with even it.
none of this is overstatement. i imagine it is probably all summed up as a profound malfunctioning of the frontal cortex.
despite my lack of meaningful feeling, i am still able to feel loneliness and emptiness, and feel terrible over how much my life i have lost and am losing.
i do sometimes function in short bursts, where i feel very distant from my actual behaviour and speech, and it really isn't "functioning" at all. social contact is always unnatural, and i always regret making it.
unrelated, i have tardive movement problems and akathisia from drugs i haven't been on for years (upon years.) i almost wonder if i am in the early phases of parkinson's with the often characteristic death of the soul.
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as usual i was very out of it today, after all that, i forgot to use the printable savings coupon when we got to ogdensburg (my nearest US bordertown), even though i had it with me.
poster:iforgotmypassword
thread:811635
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080207/msgs/811635.html