Posted by Fivefires on March 21, 2008, at 22:20:31
I told PCP, PDOC feels I have TRD and since alone doesn't want me trying ADs w/o someone have my back.
So, today, my PCP, WELLBUTRIN for dopamine; begin 2nite or 2moro.
I told him thot (I abbreviate like text messaging everywhere I write these days o_o.) needed something work w/ dopamine. He said Wellbrutin. What you all say?I'm to begin in a.m.
All good and bad reviews gladly welcomed.
No worries scare me into feeling something isn't there. POS can't hurt me now.
Tk gdness for alprazolam.
Made a deal w/ PCP re: detox May if get into Scottsd*le; good docs and nurses and behavioral health staff; all areas covered.
I'm as low as I can go and still be breathing. I'm not expecting anything fab', so won't set myself up for it.
PCP gave me name of a guru. Where is that piece of paper I wrote it on? I'll find.
I'M SO GRATEFUL I HAVE YOU ALL.
Peeps don't like me and I don't understand. Naybur(sp. wrong delibertely) downstairs turned my water off becuz' she'd been stealing mine, and last eve' when noticed she hooked to my spiget, I knocked and waited patiently. I heard them talking inside, but ignored my knock and doorbell ring.
Not strong enuf' unhook hose and transfer, so, did a wrong thing, a two wrong things don't make a right 'wrong' thing. I turned her faucet on half-blast and came upstairs. Went down later to be sure it not still running. She'd taken her hose off my spiget and into her condo. They aren't allowed to even be hung outside, but that isn't anything I'd ever care about. She was using the water I was paying for w/ my scraped 2gether pennies.
Awoke to no water and 9a doc appt 30m away. No water; no shower or tooth brushing.Arrived home, and naybur next door ignored me and said 'can't u see I'm on the phone as I began to share my situation w/ he and his mother I believe'.
Why does no one like me?
The renter below slammed the door in my face when I said I'm not a tweaker months ago; maybe a year. RDM had been here over night and cleaned my carpet while I was sleeping. Think she assumed I a tweaker. I went down and knocked and heard her by the door and said, 'I just want to talk to you' the next day. She opened it, looked at me, and slammed it in my face.
She's been mean every since. She talks to other people about me, I think, becuz' I've 'un'friends I've never even met.
And, now, she had been hooking up her hose to my spiget(sp?). She'd been warned b4 but just kept doing it. I know 2wrongs not make 1right, but turned her water on half-blast running freely onto ground, came upstairs. Checked later and her hose was gone; removed from my spiget. (It was made clear by HOA manager whose spiget was whose, in case you are wondering. Poor HOA mgr.)
Well, this morning awoke to no water, rushing, no shower or brushing of teeth. Called water company. Think people won't do bad things, but they let me down.
Came home from doc's office and she'd turned my valve off.
I've been crying for hours now, since the guy next door pretty much said 'I'm on the phone (He was pointing at the phone as he said it, as if I not know a phone when see it. A woman was w/ him and was talking to her mainly. She followed his leads; ignoring me.
I'm so sad. Peeps take a disliking to me. I think peeps here know I have a behavioral health illsess and I enjoy hurting me.
She had a guy friend come and threaten me in the past. Bad vibes penetrate my floor and me.
I used to have many friends and was so loving and caring for people. What's wrong w/ me? The borderline thing, guess. See, I DON'T SEE IT, ya' know?
I approached she and son w/ cookies when they moved her. She's a stri**er down old metro and makes much $ and prob' near half my age. What happened to 'respect ur elders'?
She spread the word about me and now other nayburs treat me like she. So feel very badly.
Are there really that many peeps who are a**holes? They seem to be drawn to me like I'm a magnet.
I say to myself 'I can't do anything right'.(?)
Sorry the run-on sentences. Are you gettin' my big drifts here? Too tired from hurting and crying to return/para.
And ya' know I'd had a pretty good day picking out some little bunny gifts for the wee ones, my four little short peeps.
Hope hear from some of you. Know I'm now two hours or three hours ealier than you. U sprang forward and I don't move.
I'm listening to Bonnie, drinking Pepsi and sort of wishing it was Mich Dry (don't make anymore).
I'm tempted to call my RDM 4 comfort, but not 'that' tempted.
Want to crawl in a hole, embarrassed allow others affect/effect (don't GAS) me in such a way, obvious by by red eyes and nose and droopy eyes from cryin'. No worry; not calling RDM.
U ARE MY BEST FRIENDS ... u and u and u and all the others of u.
I didn't used to be such 'a needer'. Not like.
Ok, back 2 Wellbutrin.
Tell me pls ur updowns and the lowdowns.
POS no worry.
I realize prob' repeating self. Nervous and need cig, and listen to Road Tested again.
OK I'VE OBVIOUSLY 'REPEATED' BELOW. TOO OUTCONFUSED TO PULL THIS 2-GETHER SO TO ANY1 WHO TRIES, THANK-YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING.
Let's see what was this post about again? o_o
WELLBUTRIN alone, along w/ my alprazolam and pain meds.
What think?
Sad as well over other issue; man of my beautiful daughter's love, father of two wee ones, may get 4-6yrs.
Cried myself to sleep last night 4 the pain I know of not having access to the one I love. She has a really good job, bought house, moved in 2wks back, and now; well u get pic'. First love still in, in another state. Second, ruled suicide. And now this, third. Just moved to her own home, children all happy, and she may not be able to make mortgage payments.
Unlike me, she's tough, or tougher, or not as easily hurt. Think she knows a Fukitol drug rep. It may be a mask. Some day may fall off. But for now she is doing what works for her. I've never had one of those masks; couldn't find a fit.
Day was nice till realized naybur shut off water. Bought a few bunny basket items; necklaces w/ bubble juice and little blower hanging on them, blow and twirls (What do you call those anyway?) on top of a pen, soccer ball, fabric beach/tote bags; one boy and three girls.
I went to grocery and got choc cupcakes w/ bunny finger rings on top of icing and fruit mix for our Easter experience, for which we have no place to have the experience.(?)
Somebody else take the wheel please. I'm hurt and so embarrassed about crying and being lonely. Hope someone has a little time to be w/ me here a bit b4 bed.
Guess already mentioned our time differences.
Hey, made a 'verbal agreement' detox June if Scotts.
SCOOP ON WELLBUTRIN pls?
Wish u were here 'cuz from the looks of this post, I need some company real bad. Maybe better call RDM over
PLS TALK 2 ME, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:819337
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080316/msgs/819337.html