Posted by Deneb on June 22, 2008, at 0:56:42
In reply to Re: I have a very different view, posted by SLS on June 21, 2008, at 5:15:10
Sorry, this post is really disorganized and unfocused, but I just want to know if anyone can find any pattern in this? Maybe this will help me make my meds decision.
I've never actually tried going off medications slowly.The only other SSRI I've been on was Zoloft. I was on that for a few years and still had bad times on and off, I think... My memory is fuzzy, my pdoc probably has a better idea of how I was. Then my pdoc went on maternity leave.
Oh wait, no. Before my pdoc went on maternity leave, I didn't see her for a while, like 6 months. I just kind of lost contact with her.
I was well I think...yeah. I remember I got 3 As and 2 Bs that semester. I was doing really well and I wasn't on any meds or had any therapy.
Then, next semester something went wrong.
Man, my memory is bad. LOL
Anyways, a few days before I seriously OD'd, I'd gone to a family doc and she gave me Celexa, so I must not have been on any meds then. I remember this b/c she gave me samples of Celexa and I remember I almost forgot to take them back after the psych ward people took them when I stayed there.
The thing is, I didn't OD because I wanted to die. I think I did it to escape.
Then the hospital made me see my pdoc again. I saw her intensely for a bit, then she went on maternity leave.
Then I was without a pdoc for a while. Then I got bad again and saw another time and he agreed to try Risperdal. That was my idea, cuz I'd read about it for BPD. Then I thought I had apathy so he added Wellbutrin.
I saw non therapist pdoc for a few months. Then pdoc came back.
I got bulimia for a while so pdoc took me off Wellbutrin. She was very afraid of seizures for me. She put me on Prozac.
I also started seeing my pdoc everyweek instead of every 2 or 3 weeks.
And I've been doing really well.
My pdoc should know all this.
Well my pdoc thinks I'm ready to reduce my meds so lets hope she's right.
I'm not sure what makes me do well and what doesn't. It all seems so random.
So...
I remember,
No meds no therapy no loving Dr. Bob in high school = very very bad state
Zoloft no therapy, no loving Dr. Bob = very very bad state
Zoloft and little therapy, no Dr. Bob = bad state
Zoloft and little therapy, no Bob = ok, good?
No meds (stopped on own) no therapy (stopped on own), no Bob = very good
No meds no therapy, no Bob = very very bad
Celexa little therapy (Bob? don't remember) = OK
Celexa, Risperdal, no therapy (Bob? don't remember) = OK
(May 2006) Celexa, Risperdal, Wellbutrin therapy Love Dr. Bob ( I know I loved Dr. Bob then b/c I wrote in in the Babbleometer thing LOL) = CES-D score of 1!! i.e. very very good
(July 2006)50 mg Celexa, 0.75 mg Risperdal, 150 mg Wellbutrin, therapy, breast cancer scare = CES-D score 31 (bad??)
(Sept 2006) Meds: 50 mg Celexa, 0.75 mg Risperdal, 150 mg Wellbutrin, therapy, health anxieties = CES-D score 5
(Mar 2007)20 mg Celexa 40 mg Prozac 0.75 mg Risperdal, therapy, love bob = CES-D 21 (bad?)
(Mar, 2008) 40 Prozac 0.75 Risperdal 40 Celexa, therapy, love bob = CES 7 good
(Today) 40mg Celexa 40mg Prozac 0.75mg Risperdal, therapy, love bob, new job = CES 8 (today's score)
Is there a pattern?
It's hard to tell because my moods are very volatile and each snapshot may not be representative of my overall state.
I fill out the scale more frequently and do averages over time.
poster:Deneb
thread:835521
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080617/msgs/835887.html