Posted by Racer on December 31, 2008, at 18:36:29
In reply to Re: Don't talk about suicide, posted by linkadge on December 30, 2008, at 20:43:48
> Thats the problem. I only took about 5mg of prozac and I practically didn't sleep for 2 nights. I was also agitated out of my mind. The medication just feels so toxic.
How long were you on it? You've just described my first few days on Prozac, every time I've taken it, and all that's gone away after a couple of weeks. (Which doesn't mean you should take it, it just means that those things did go away for me after a while.)
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> I think there are certain subtypes of depression that just fair very poorly with current treatments.I agree -- and I think that's part of the reason it's been so hard for me to find anything to help. The good news is that I did, finally -- except it wasn't an anti-depressant. It could be that there's something out there that makes a similar difference for you, which is also not a traditional antidepressant.
And while I wish I could tell you that my depression is *always* 100% at bay -- well, if I tried to tell you that, you're certainly smart enough to know I was lying through my teeth. What I can say, though, is that I am far better than I had been for the past couple of years, that I can apply behavioral strategies when it gets bad, and I think it's a fundamentally different animal than the "pure" depression I had before. I think what I have now is something more habitual than biological -- certain types of things set off negative ruminations which follow in familiar ruts and lead to the "no-hope/no-points." Those, I can work on. The "real" depression, though? Whole different animal. With the pure depression, I can't function well enough for therapy to be of any use whatsoever. My therapist has nearly sent me home for that reason once or twice -- and really only kept me there either to assess suicidality or for fear of triggering it!
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> I need something that will help me get normal sleep. Something that doesn't worsen my anxiety. Something thats not going to make me apathetic.Have you tried Rozerem? If not, it's worth a try. It probably won't knock you out the way most hypnotics do -- it's far more subtle, but it has none of the side effects I've had from the others. And, believe it or not, its effects get better over time -- AND it seems to boost my antidepressant effects. When I've had to skip a few days for some reason, there's still no problem -- it seems to have helped me establish a better sleep cycle. I do try to take it at the same time every day, which also helps.
I'll give it my very highest praise, though: I feel as though I've had a normal night's sleep, and wake up feeling refreshed.
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> I'm not so much 'sad' its just that I feel an incredable emptiness and feeling like there is no point to being alive. I'm very anxious and unsettled. It's like I am always feeling like something is 'wrong'. I have problems sleeping and staying asleep. I'm constantly having nightmares.All of that sounds as though therapy would be helpful. And have you ever considered neurofeedback or biofeedback? The "anxious and unsettled" sound like the sorts of things that can be helped by that sort of thing. Also, Pilates helped me a lot with anxiety, and might be worth considering, too. (Although I'd say go to a class, rather than using a tape.)
I have a bias in favor of therapy, which I believe can be helpful for nearly anyone under some circumstances -- and I do mean anyone, including those who will never have any sort of psychiatric disorder. It's becoming ever clearer to me how many ruts my thoughts have gotten into, how much I've accepted as true without evidence, how distorted my view of myself is -- and Link? No matter what you may think of me, I am *very* smart, and I am *very* curious, so that "accepting as true" is not necessarily a function of my underlying idiocy ;-)
I truly do wish the best for you, Link. I hope very much that you do find *something* -- animal, vegetable, or mineral -- to help you.
Peace.
poster:Racer
thread:871220
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20081223/msgs/871683.html