Posted by Vincent_QC on January 11, 2009, at 10:15:54
Hi Everyone!!!
I don't want to feel unstable...BUT in 2 days, I never stop thinking about my present situation and what I will miss if I stop the Parnate treatment and if I give up after 1 month.Some others members on this forum help me a lot to take that difficult decision...and I change my mind again...thanks to JadeKelly and Scott!!! ;-)I like you so much...you don't know how... ;-)
So to everyone, forget my last thread about TCA's or Cymbalta and the fact that I stop the Parnate, since we canno't erease our own threat, I will have to live with that mistake!!! I also sometimes forget that all the people around the world can read what I write just by google it...so I will try to make my post less personnal...if some people want to talk with me in privacy, my babble mail is ON!!!
Since this morning, i'm back to the 30mg of Parnate. Maybe some people wonder why I change my mind again like this? I will try to explain it in English with the best I can... Anybody on the Parnate speak french here?...
Last night, when I return home at 1AM, I read some post about the Manerix (moclobemide)that Scott post on another thread. He point the fact that (Manerix) was not approved by the FDA because "Roche" compagny was not able to make the proof that it was effective over 8 weeks of use.
So, some theories of my family doctor was not bad, Manerix is more a "cats" drug, and is for minor problems and not for treatment resistant patients like us(depression, social phobia). My family doctor is also right about the fact that the dosage have to be up regulary until the patient reach the limit of 1200mg/day of Moclobemide to continue to feel in remission, making it more like an old MAIO and at this stage, the diet restriction had to be applies...So why go with the Manerix (moclobemide) when I can have a more sustainable treatment with the Parnate? A drug who was studie for years and years...maybe not like the Nardil, but at least the Parnate have proof over the years that it was effective on a long-term basis...and especially in anxiety field...more than newer drugs...
I also think the "physical fatigue" and the lack of motivation I have right now are not Parnate related but more from my not treated depression and the fact that I don't reach the stage of the right "dosage" and time factors to see some improve on the Parnate (Depression improve)...
For the high blood pressure, I know I just stop 3 days the Parnate, so the MAO didn't have the time to reform completly, but for the 3 days I don't take the Parnate, my blood pressure always stay high, so I guess it's more a psychological side-effect than anything else, but the hypotension orthostatic is not a psychological side-effect, I feel it...but that's not bored me now...I get used to it.
I also realized the PArnate make me improve more with my social phobia problem, more than what I was thinking, more than on any other drugs I try before, even the Nardil. Why I write this? Well look under...
The fact that I return to a 20mg/Valium intake dose, in less than 24hours without Parnate, proof that the Parnate was effective to help me reducing my benzo intake...I will probably be able to be benzo free in a couple of months and thats a MAJOR goal for me to reach. I don't like at all how I turn into a "benzo addict" person. I don't want to live my life with always the stress that i'm sure I have some Valiums pills with me everywhere I go just in case...
The panic attacks return the day after I stop the Parnate, in social context or not, another sign that the Parnate was effective in that sphere of my life (panic disorder).
I also return to my normal headache state that I had before the Parnate, a regular headache that follow me all day long. Since I take the Parnate, I do less migraines than before. I can have small headache but nothing like a migraine...that's a big plus for me...
The fact that I don't feel more motivated or that I had no more energy in these 3 days without the Parnate make me think about the REAL improves I gain in 1 month on the Parnate. I prefer to have some hypotension orthostatic side-effect but some improve that's are real... then nothing else...
Sorry if it's seem that I like to contradict myself ...lol I know that I write in the other thread that I Was a lot tired of side-effects and things like that but I will have to deal with others side-effects anyway, since I never try for a long period of time a TCA's drug, who know, maybe it will be worst than the Parnate side-effects and also they (tca's) seem to be less effective in social and general anxiety states...but more in the depression field...Since depression is not my major problem, I think I should stay on the Parnate.
Thanks also to JadeKelly, who write yesterday in a post that when she forget to take her pills, she figure she better stay on it!!!
You are so right... The move I do 3 days ago and the fact that I wanted to stop everything was not a wise decision and I admit it...
So for now i'm back again at 30mg/day. I will discuss this issue with my PDOC this week, I will try to have a paper for blood test, to see if everything is ok and that I don't feel less energised because I lack some vitamins or things like that. For the gain weight, I will try to begin a strict diet again, maybe i'm wrong by doing thit, but at least, loose some weight will maybe help me with my motivation and my self-esteem...
I will also try to convice him to put me on 40mg at least and stay at this stage for 1 month and see what happen. I doubt I will be able to get a more high dose than that, even if I bring to him some studies find over the internet and make him read them... It's him the PDOC, not me and I don't want to begin to lie to him about the fact that I never had side-effects from getting higher than 30mg of Parnate just to be sure he will be more open to give me a more high dose...I know, I contradict myself again here...don't remind me this ok ;-) I just have to follow his instruction, I wanted to go more fast than him and I pay the price, if he start me at a low dose it's not for nothing and also it's not for his lack of knowledge with the Parnate and the MAOI's in general. He probably read already all the studies on the high dosage theory of Parnate...he just want me to be free of side-effect since in my folder it's probably write that I have a big tendancy to drop my treatment when I feel too much side-effects...and that IM to much hypervigilance with the side-effecstd I feel in my body.
I will also forget the blood pressure machine (I know, I write this 10 times before...thanks to my general anxiety to make me focus on my blood pressure...lol). I will just forget that I take some pills who "can" do that kind of side-efects, the high or low blood pressure...
For JadeKelly, yes, I begin a CTB therapy before christmas. I had 4 appointments in the begining for the diagnostic and with that 4 appointments, my psychologist was able to make a plan on how we will work together. I know last week she talk about going to some public spaces with me and watch me and watch what I do...she will be able to give me some advises and told me what I do wrong in public spaces and what I should do to feel less anxious, things like that. I'm sure I will improve more with the CTB combined with the Parnate.
For the Wellbutrin, forget this. I was on Lexapro (20mg/day) from september, october and november 2008, I add the Wellbutrin (300mg) in October, and Ritalin (methylphenidate) 10mg/day , all in the same time and my energy level was at 0...So it was not helping a lot. I don't like the fact that I had to blend so many drugs at the same time and make explosive combo like these. It was crazy at the time and I was just getting worse.
I really think I don't answer well on the drug who acts on the serotonin and my brains are probably all f*ck up anyway so who knows what is wrong in my head...One thing is sure, the Parnate is a all in one pill, I know I will not have to put something else on the top of it to improve more, just maybe a mood stabilizer to help and prevent the pop-out problems and make it more stable on me...The energy will probably improve more when I will work in my CTB and on my daytime schedule. I just get a bad habit to stay in my dressing gown all day long and just go out at night. I need to move also in the day, return to a more normal schedule, take my shower and get dress in the morning like I was doing before 2008...For the insomnia now that I have "again" some Seroquel (the normal one, not the XR) and a relatively small dose (25mg), I know that I can sleep a little bit more at night time and wake up in the morning maybe a little bit dizzy, but after a cup of coffee everything is fine.
So that's it...Another time sorry to everyone...I don't like the fact that I post so much threads, that I change my mind so often and things like these...I don't want to be a burden to the babble community .
I hope everyone is fine and I really wish to everyone of you here a good luck and a really good 2009 year...We all deserve to get more well and live a normal life ;-)
Thanks for your support again!
Bye!
VIncent ;-)
poster:Vincent_QC
thread:873322
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090104/msgs/873322.html