Posted by Angelskye on February 1, 2009, at 9:43:36
Hi:)
Three months ago I was started on antivan for what they called episodic anxiety; boy..that doesn't account for the previous 51 years? I found that although it worked, I tended to take more and more to get the same effect (the dissapation of the basketball of anxiety I woke up with each morning in the pit of my stomach..) I tried to go off this drug as I returned to college at the beginning of January. The ativan maded me "teflon brained" and I didn't seem to be absorbing the information for school at all. Had I not been doing this, I would have continued on it as it did make a difference. After going through assessment testing at a nearby college in december, I was diagnoised with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Considering that I'd been diagnoised with ADD 12 years ago, and and these tests negated that, I was shocked (but not really..) Ritalin was the worst thing I could have been taking, as it turned out. After a visit this week to my dr., report in hand, it was as if they finally believed me. Why does one have to go through 1000.00 worth of test before you are believed that anxiety is real? Thank God for my best friend who pushed me to do this test!! Anyway, four days ago he put me on 10mg of Buspar, 2x's daily with Restoril 30mg at night to sleep if I need it(and I haven't felt like I "needed" it for two nights; and I was sleeping 3-4 hrs night and desperately needed to sleep more. I just couldn't turn my brain off at night). Just typing this makes me well up with tears, but instead of it because I am overwhelmed by something, anything, everything..it's because for the first time ever I've found something that works. I am not high. I am not low. I am not hungry. I am not anything but what feels like "normal". Please understand that I have been self-medicating myself with anything I could; well almost..weed, food, sex, OTH anything that might make me relax, for all of my adult life) Thank God alcohol never appealed to me. Over the years doctors have tried (w/dr.s RX-)zoloft, prozac, celexa, wellbutrin. Why is it so hard for Dr.'s to believe that someone could actually be anxiety ridden w/o being depressed? I think back on all the money I've wasted.. Anyone who's experienced anxiety to such a level on a daily basis knows what I'm talking about and what a miracle this is. The doctor kept asking me if I am depressed. In a word, no no no no no. I am the happiest I've been in a long time, aside from the drug. I've lost a 100lbs by hard work,not surgery. My last child has gone off to school and I am back in school. I am in a good relationship. And now, for the first time, I am actually enjoying it. No one who has never experienced this knows what it's like to live with this level of anxiety. Thank you, Universe, for this tiny little drug that so far, has made such a subtle but incredible inpact in my life. I wish someone had believed me sooner. xox to those who still are searching for that what works for them. I feel very blessed.
poster:Angelskye
thread:877502
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090104/msgs/877502.html