Posted by SLS on February 21, 2009, at 10:28:08
In reply to Hurting real bad - suicidal, long, posted by HyperFocus on February 21, 2009, at 10:07:38
Dear HyperFocus,
Your desire to live screams out of every paragraph you have written. For this, I am greatly optimistic for you.
You are a magnificent writer and express very well what is going on with you. You already know that, though. I guess in the grand scheme of things, that is almost a meaningless talent if you cannot find meaning in life.
I could write a book based on all of the issues you bring up. Suffice it to say that I have been through much the same things as you have. Much of the history you paint of yourself could just as easily appear on a portrait of myself. I would love to attend to each of your philosophical and spiritual issues because I have already found for myself the answers to them. They might not necessarily resonate well with you, though. I think each person who craves understanding must embark on a journey that can last a lifetime. Consider yourself on that journey right now. If you have not found your own personal answers to the questions that now plague you, you will if you stay alive long enough. I think the very first thing you have to do regarding your existential issues is to just allow them to be. Do not allow them to be a plague on your soul. You will find all of your answers eventually, so why become so frantic to answer them today? BIG questions. Some people spend a lifetime trying to answer them and are never satisfied with what they come up with.
Enough about that.
Before you can do anything, you must get your brain biology under control. For the state that you are presently in, I would consider using Zyprexa 5-10mg to allow the suicidal feeling to subside. After the crisis passes, you can then become aggressive at finding effective treatments for the depression and any other Axis I disorder you might have.
I also recommend psychotherapy. You are looking at performing a lot of positive and constructive work to help navigate through the destructive experiences that you have encountered in life. I myself use psychotherapy for precisely that.
Like I said, I am optimistic for you - as long as you remain alive to watch your biological treatment and psychotherapeutic work bear sweet fruit.
It's a start.
:-)
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:881471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090213/msgs/881474.html