Posted by AdamCanada2 on March 18, 2009, at 11:11:40
10mg, 20mg, 25mg, 30mg all had it's benifits, expecially at 20ish. I have strong depression and been on over 20 meds, this is one of few that has shown tremendous promise at various times but it shows inconsistency. It would often help by allowing me to be more pro-social, creative, interested, driven, motivated, I would even omg Meet People. Imagine that. Instead of being a zombie (my baseline depression).So... I have been on Parnate at various doses along with ritalin which at first didn't do much but later on ritalin would bring out a more profound appreciation for life. For once I could feel at least a bit normal. That would fade over time and I still do take it along with Diazepam.
10-20-25mg would cause severe insomnia to the point where I'd average 2.5 hours of sleep usually. Then as doctor recommended and I agreed, lets try 30mg, what a difference. And not necessarily a good one. Easy to fall asleep. Normally an augment of 25mg-50mg Seroquel would not cut it, not even 100mg. But then 25mg would allow me to sleep quite easily every single day. At the cost of less drive/motivation/enjoyment/much less social etc. Cloudy mind, difficult to think... and I tolerated it as long as I could but it was no life to live. I could not for the life of me meet with people whom I cared about let alone even be able to feel those emotions of empathy to the degree I used to. I would feel blunted. Tired during the day instead of active and even productive.
So after 2 weeks I dropped down to 20mg and very quickly things are better. I am able to ''Write'' this kind of posting and not feel like ugh I can only keep one eye open at times due to day-time sedation.
So the question is, what happens next? I still feel as if it's easy to fall asleep but seroquel is out. I am not taking it anymore. I refuse to take it because it would make things even worse. When I feel lifeless around people then I am just a shell of my former self. So I am augmenting my depression with doctor prescribed risperidone 0.5mg at night. I do still sleep better than I did on those insomnia filled days with the exact SAME regimen, but why? And why am I less active still? Less social?
I dont get it. This parnate is difficult to figure out. It has given me times of joy, one day when I upped the dose from 10 to 20 a while back I felt so wonderful for one day that I would fantasize about marriage to a dream girl and even cry tears of joy. My mind would feel alive... I, would feel alive.
So I dont know what's next. I can keep trying this and see how risperidone low dose augmentation can benifit me, or eventually after 3 weeks or so give up, or go back to 10mg which last year ironically made me feel better. Amazing isn't it. Increasing a dose would give me such a boost, yet dropping the dose would as well.
I have been able to finally recieve Tianeptine permitted by my doctor, an SSRE (E stands for enhancer), which according to research seems to fit my symptoms just about perfectly. Who knows. Once I am off Parnate (if I go off), and wait a week since I am on a relatively low dose (sensitive to meds) I can try Tianeptine and see how it goes.
I just need some relief and I wish so much that Ritalin would not develop tolerance so quickly these days. It used to help me for periods of over half a year I believe. Ugh.
Please offer any comments, or advice... 20 meds I been on, I am 25, poisoned by accutane at 18, and still need some serious help.
poster:AdamCanada2
thread:885917
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090313/msgs/885917.html