Posted by Alexanderfromdenmark on August 3, 2009, at 16:42:11
I'm sorry to be dramatic, but I am, as many have here as probably considered or attemped, suicide.
I will not bother you with longs details, only that I have had chronic low/moderate depression for about 10 years, I'm only 22 now. At 20 years old, depspite former trials I decided, I had to get help because I was feeling so bad. I spent 1 year on lexapro and some months on prebabalin and the results have been horrible. I have the dreaded "PSSD" syndrome, anhedonia, total fatigue and what not. I feel I am in a much much worse state that I was before treatment. In fact, I would give anything to be before I was before treament. I feel I have severe cognitive impairment, ED, constant chronic fatigue, my skin and eyes are dull and lusterluss, before my eyes(depsite being a depressive person) would shine with life and ideas, my sexdrive is zero and so is my exercise tolerance.
I quit university some months ago due to mentioned problems and am now living with my father. I feel, I am a braindead, libido, lifeless búrden upon my parents and I don't know what to do. If I lived alone, I would surely commmit suicide, but I do not paricularity wish to seek help from psychiatry as they have so far made my problems much much worse. I have no trust in psychiatrists and even less their medications and I don't even think they have MAOI's and similar medications in my country,
I do not wish to take X medication for depression, X mediation for sleep, Viagra for sexual function, X mood stabilser, X medication for constipation etc etc.
I am going down to brussels in month in a hormone clinic to get treated for what they believe I have Hypothyrodism, testosterone defiency and some adrenal fatigue. But I doubt this treatment will work and relieve me of fatigue and depression due to that damn lexapro. That's what my intution tells me, and despite me being a depressed guy, I have a freakin scary accurate intution for all things.
I feel as a former guy titled his thread: Damned if you do, damned if you dont. I feel SSRI's have damned me a deal.
Yes youth is on my side, but I've spent 10 years now, especially the last 5 feeling damn miserable, I cannot cope with another 5 yet alone 10.
I'm sorry to post the whine poor me thread, but we all need this every now then don't we,.
poster:Alexanderfromdenmark
thread:910034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090801/msgs/910034.html