Posted by jasmineneroli on October 6, 2009, at 9:58:13
In reply to Re: Depression and Boredom..Emsam, Lamictal, Xypre, posted by Jonathan Weaver on October 6, 2009, at 0:21:09
Jonathan, you have almost exactly the same history as me! My crashes have come several months after going med-free, although one was during med-treatment, and another was before any medication. You have my very deep sympathy. I too have had the same list of differing diagnoses over time - so frustrating!
> I have not lost much motivation nor do I have too much of a 'who cares' mentality. The boredom is really hard to explain. 8 months ago I would look forward to relaxing at home for an evening. Now it feels like hell when I have nothing to do. And even when I fill the time with something it still feels like a blurry experience of disconnect. Pretty confusing!
I understand this feeling. For me, it seems that once I go down into a depression, the cycle goes like this: Irritable anxiety - agitated depression that gets out of control within hours then I have rage that I turn on myself, and sometimes self-injure. All of a sudden (with meds or without) I'm lethargic depressed. This is just before I get that "bored" phase. Nothing is exciting or even interesting, and all activities are made just to pass the time, pretty much. I feel like I'm another person doing the actions like a robot, because I know I "ought to". I have conversations with people that are almost like "set pieces" and I hear myself say them, but it's almost like watching a play. I'm detached. Sucks.
Sorry to ramble on like this, but your descriptions rang a bell for me!
I'm not sure if it's a medication response or just part of the illness, because I've had this on several occasions over the years.
Take care.
J
poster:jasmineneroli
thread:919825
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091001/msgs/919937.html