Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on December 31, 2009, at 23:52:33
In reply to Re: Journal of Survival, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on December 31, 2009, at 20:45:53
Hey Babble:
Listen this is what's going on in my life, I still am living at home and I just, I see life and I was at this same point around 2008, then I saw my brother and things got better than...I just made mistakes both by choice and by "natrually" just not knowing what to do, and it left me to resort back to a prison. I went off the medication that was needed, and the reason was I was drinking alcohol [tuaca, southern comfort] and that lead to discontinuation of medication because I was also taking regular Xanax with it, and my mom didnt want me dead.
Look, can we become like a online counsel here? you know since this website started it's a good place to come to for help. What I do need is a counsel, and I need them to know all aspect's of how I am to excel in life. Right now i'm floating everyday and trying to see life, I cannot hold a job without the medication that I need, and there as been adversity against it which is saying "it's speed" yes it is speed, [dexedrine] yet I was taking it when I was working for my brother and it did help in some aspect's yet I just redosed on it frequently. Now I can't function through the day, and I don't know what to do. It's like i'm slowly dying, because I've gained alot of weight, people are not sympathetic to know that "there is a disablity" and it's looked down on. I got a SPECT scan because my doctor wanted me to...that may have some good results of what is needed.
There is a person that I live with that is, controlling and I don't know how to break away from this, it's like a bondage, and I would litterly just "fall apart" if I tried to go on my own. People don't know, I just breakapart because I need someone there with me.
I mean, my life I want to keep, and not give it over and say "it's nothing" and alot of people seem to think that I don't believe negative things people think of me, because I could not "live" if there was no life support inside. I'm in so much psychological agony, because I just cannot find what to do. All I know is to wait, and get the test results and things will be ok. I don't want to lose my life, and living a delusion that things will get better when the logical truth is there going down. You have to say positive things inside, because you mind will follow what you think.
If all, if anyone can help, we'll I just can have support here. I am known to hear info, then not act on it, so I need to let that be known.
Pray..Set the mind to a goal, and get there. I don't want to be the "scum" of people in conversations.
M
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:931900
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091227/msgs/931930.html