Posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 18:20:59
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 3, 2010, at 18:10:26
hearing what i'm going to say before i say it, and have that repeating in my head. hear me answering questions before people even ask me question, hearing me tell stories over and over of when i was sane. I could go on for HOURS about the experiences.
Only hearing my own voice, the obvious phenomenea of my own voice with commentary, much of the time about suicide and death, and that i'm not supposed to be here. That I am in hell and that i don't know it and i am supposed to leave. that things like my family, friends, beautiful nature, music etc, were all just things and illusions that were trying to keep me alive and trapped in hell. there was a time i thought i was possessed by the devil, and another time i was incarnated as God, as i was trying to figure out who/what this voice was that i could hear.
waking up, and the first thing i would hear would be, it's time to die etc, and i try to counter it, not it's not etcECT helped, but don't know how to get it. Things have improved greatly with all of this. Probably ECT and going back on the benzo. Ultimately, I'd like more ect, and off all drugs i think is my best route.
Regards,
Brian
poster:qbsbrown
thread:941095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100328/msgs/942060.html