Posted by Linda Bee on April 21, 2010, at 12:56:57
sorry to sound so pessimistic; perhaps I should have said that nothing works for me or I've had unacceptable side effects. I have taken just about everything: prozac, effexor, zoloft, celexa, lexepro, cymbalta, pristiq, savella. Currently I am on 400 mg wellbutrin and 50 mg pristiq, and 30 mg d-amphetamine. These are all supposed to create some energy and raise my mood. But I sit here, in the early afternoon, still in bathrobe, watching TV. I have things to do but will find excuses not to go out. I need a haircut, I should shop for food for dinner tonight, I have to go to the drugstore for meds I need today, and it would be nice if I visited my grandchildren who live nearby. Of course, I rarely make a telephone call. Sometimes I get scared that I am 69 yrs old and think how many years must I have left? Yet I waste every day in lethargy and apathy and fatigue. I was always like this so I cant blame it on meds, just on me and my innate brain chemistry. Nevertheless, I have never considered suicide. Just thinking about dying makes me panic.
I was always optimistic in the sense that I believed things would get better-- no matter what things. My thinking was thus: I am fat now but I will start that new diet tomorrow and finally lose weight, I am definitely going to the gym as soon as my knees feel better, and the next med that Dr K prescribes will be the magic pill. Having believed all that and failing to have it happen, I can't fool myself anymore. That in itself is depressing.
Sorry to go on so. I used to have psychotherapy, but on Medicare I cant afford it anymore, and sometimes I have to vent and who wants to listen to these pathetic complaints. I can tell what I need to here. I dont know if it even matters to me that it's read or responded to. If so, thank you.
poster:Linda Bee
thread:944355
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100416/msgs/944355.html