Posted by PartlyCloudy on August 23, 2010, at 16:36:26
In reply to For once!, posted by Maxime on August 23, 2010, at 14:30:20
> For once i would like to know what it is like to be depression free. I have had points in my life where I have come really close, but none where I have been COMPLETLY free. And a job. A job that could my mood and self esteem in many ways.
>
> I don't see the point in life right now.I have found that depression has been a continuum that goes up and down (and waaaaay down, sometimes). My best times are when the meds are working and I am feeling the most functional - but I cannot say that I feel depression-free. I think it has become a matter of managing the symptoms so that I can make the most of some days, and other days I have to be able to give in to the black dog. Right now, if my depression was to LEAVE me, I don't what I'd do (other than watch the top of my head pop off and my body fly about the room like a balloon). I'd probably cry just as much as I do when I'm sad - joy has always made me cry, too.
For me, depression has evolved into acceptance, and in that I have found compassion within myself and I am not as hard on myself for not being a Happy Person. I can definitely exert some measure of control (lifestyle changes, dietary, social), but there are times when it's appropriate to admit that you're in a downward continuum - that's the nature of this chronic condition.
I think the acceptance is the hardest thing sometimes.
(((Maxime))) I was only able to make it 5 months or so working in my retail job - the money was so-so, but the social aspect was very good for me. I hope it works for you.
PartlyCloudy
poster:PartlyCloudy
thread:959495
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100821/msgs/959519.html