Posted by morgan miller on October 15, 2010, at 21:20:43
In reply to Re: depression. questions on meds, symptoms, psycholog, posted by sigismund on October 15, 2010, at 19:50:50
I think it's dangerous to just accept that life is full of hardship and worry, so a child being exposed to hardship and worry is something they should be able to deal with and overcome.
I was a very "sane", very responsible, very thoughtful, and very solid child at 11 years old. But, in my teens and much of my 20s and thirties I was a mess. In therapy I learned that my mother's struggles after my parents' divorced triggered a part of me that was nurturing, loving, caring, and attentative. I ended up taking care of my mother and she let me(she should NOT have). My being a little adult was very harmful and made it hard for me to truly become an adult in my 20s when I needed to be. Yes, I am just one example, but there are many many people out there that in one way or another were affected by having to take on the role of an adult as a child. Childhood and adolescence are meant to be just that, not "child-adulthood" or "adolescence-adulthood". Children need to be children, this is a fact.
You were fooled in to thinking this child had their sh*t together and was perfectly healthy by the facade of him being forced into taking on this role of a young adult. Of course he seemed perfectly sane to you, he had to be for his mother. I would be curious to see if this child struggles with things because of being burdened at such a young age. I do agree that if he had a very loving and nurturing environment, the chances of taking on this adult-like role and persona damaging him will be much much less.
Personally I'm growing tired of people being a bit too accepting of the hardships in life(no offense). When people take on this belief that children are built to deal with hardships in life, they are less likely to do what they can to try to shield a child in the right ways and give them the right amount of nurturing and love. I am not a fan of overprotecting a child in ways either. I think it is a delicate balance.
Morgan
poster:morgan miller
thread:965852
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101009/msgs/965903.html