Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on November 23, 2010, at 22:29:19
I got to post this, Im really going through a bad period of time. Alot of times I feel I want to be dead, but like I posted...the lake of fire is not the place I want to go, meet the devil who decieved me. I actually thought that If I prayed to the devil....somehow it would change things, I did for a while in my journals to lucifer but life seemed to get more miserable but I told him to not torchre me. What I prayed to him for was for drugs to help me feel better because I constantly felt like sh*t and etc. The only reason im writing this is to vent. I know clearly there is no one who gives a sh*t, but choose wisely of what you do with your life because your the only person that needs to be happy....other people are not going to make you happy.
See...there's nothing going to benefit from this. I'm sick of going through the same cycle of suffering because its not heard and I live in misery at home. I mean if there was a fast way to end this, like taking alot of Seconal's I would already be gone but I'm too chicken to look at that trigger and think man I need to die. I can't do it, its too much fear of what will happen AFTER death....like fire, and brimestone.
The only thing that I can give advice is you have to make your own life liveable and enjoy it. Find things YOU enjoy and f*ck anyone who is against it unless you really care about that person and are willing to make adjustments for them.
Ugh, I'm suffering really bad but I will get over it.
M
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:971141
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101117/msgs/971141.html