Posted by Meddy43 on August 8, 2011, at 10:31:27
In reply to Re: Bipolar-Wellbutrin-Zyprexa-Lyrica-Oxazepam ? » Meddy43, posted by floatingbridge on August 8, 2011, at 9:08:17
Thank you fb for your kind words. They were heart warming. I was starting to think that I was a complete moron who just popped pills randomly and for fun...:-(
Lyrica has helped my anxiety tremendously, but it has had cognitive side effects. But I reasoned that perchance the negative effects would be less than those caused by an amount of benzodiazepines that would abolish my anxiety to that degree.
I'm sorry to hear about your episodes with Lyrica; how do you cope with anxiety now ?
Yes, being a doc isn't all that much fun, especially when you are a resident psychiatrist, when you fall ill, especially with mental problems. Until five years ago I managed to self prescribe/deal with my problems, but after that I thought I should seek help from someone else. I don't know if it was a wise thing to do. The repercussions have been great. I have lost my licence to practice medicine, at least for the time being. And I don't think they'll be reinstituted.
Also, when I have seeked help, I have been met by either very hostile comments and behaviour (I don't know why, as I am not an overtly hostile person in my own opinion, not even when manic or psychotic). Or I have been treated as someone superior, being asked what drugs I would like to be prescribed, and weather I would like to be admitted to a hospital or not, and would I think an MRI would be in order etc.
One group of doctors have seemed to prescribe me a medicine, and not tell me about side effects etc, saying "well, you know all that", not letting me be a patient.
I have finally met my match, in a very kind yet assertive, when needed, doctor, who lets me be a patient, isn't intimidated by my MD.PhD, talks with me about various medications, but in the end tells me which ones she will prescribe, and what to expect. She has admitted me into a closed ward on suicide watch against my will, but has afterwards discussed with me how traumatizing an involuntary hospitalization is. She has dried my tears when I have wept, she has hugged me when I have been a total wreck and she has fought for the right to be able to treat me once a week for an hour. She is a senior doctor, has held/holds many prestigious posts within psychiatry here, and she genuinely seems to think of my best interest. I will be eternally grateful for all she has done for me, and continues to do so. Without a fee.
She has put me on disability for now (I have been at home for two years), but does not completely rule out future employment, but thinks I still need a year or two to heal from my difficult to treat psychotic bipolar I, GAD and social phobia.
As may have been obvious from my posts, I still have the tendency to self medicate, or adjust doses or medicines without her consent. I might be a tad stubborn ;-)
Thank you for listening to me.
Kindly, Meddy43
poster:Meddy43
thread:993047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110728/msgs/993173.html