Posted by Solstice on September 17, 2011, at 14:56:27
In reply to Re: Zonked, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 16, 2011, at 23:38:31
> Soltice thinks my addiction is the cause of my problem
I don't know, Matt.. I think your problem centers around all the energy you invest in trying to find a way to get controlled substances. If you would invest that same energy in healthy activities (like volunteering), you might start to turn things around for yourself. One of the biggest obstacles you're creating for yourself is that you want someone to rescue you.. and that is a recipe for terminal frustration.
As for your self-loathing, a psychologist working with one of my kids told me "Self-esteem comes from us experiencing ourselves as competent. It doesn't come from people telling you how great you are. It comes from you trying something, doing it successfully, and finding out for yourself that you are competent." Self-loathing is often part of depression, but I think it could only help (and won't hurt) you to do something productive. There are a lot of things you can do even though you have a slow processing speed. You live in Texas, which has a really long growing season. So.. get a lawnmower and weedeater. If you don't already know how to do it well, find someone who will show you how. Then find one customer - somebody in your neighborhood, who will let you mow their grass. To start, be cheaper than anybody else. A slow processing speed is not going to be a problem. After you figure out how to make one customer happy - then add another one. It'll get you some pocket change. It's small, and incremental. You'll feel good about doing a good job, and you'll feel good about the money.
Nobody gets everything overnight. You may have to work yourself up to - or into - a full-time job with benefits. So start small. But doing nothing - just sitting around complaining - won't get you there. It won't get you anywhere.
So just get out there and DO something. You could go from mowing lawns yourself, to working for a landscaping company. Being busy will help you battle depression. I'm in school, and I've noticed that when there's a break between semesters, my depression tends to swell. But when I have responsibilities or obligations that make me get out of the house - especially if it requires me to be around people - my depression subsides.
Go out and DO something productive, Matt. Nobody's going to rescue you, and there is no magic pill that will provide the relief you hunger for. There is no easy ride in life.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:996884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110914/msgs/997024.html